Why go on?

Sorry to read that you are feeling so down.

Always be in the bright side of a situation (there’s always one) but thing can happen but if you live your live worrying about them you’ll be miserable all the time.

my cancer managed to force my husband to show his feeling, he never showed any feeling before so that was tearing us apart, now we are closer than ever. If I only life 5/10/15 at least Those year will be worth to live.

look for the bright side of you cancer there’s always one

Hi WallWalker, I wanted to click on your user name before I replied to you, to read your profile or see what groups you belonged to. I can see you belong to a few secondary groups so I’m assuming you might have incurable cancer, and that’s a tough thing to deal with at times. I was told in 2015 my cancer was incurable and might only have 12 months so I’m sure I had a few bad weeks before I decided that it I had finished grieving for what might have been and should make if not the most of the time I had left, make the time have some enjoyment. Luckily a new treatment became available to me on the NHS and my less than 12 months is 6 years ago now. I am still incurable, and have a lump that is slowly growing, I have a scan booked for Thursday to see if the treatment that I have been on for years has now started to fail, so I know it’s not possible to be cheery all the time, but there is a lot to be said for trying to find some positives and some coping strategies. 

Have you every had a look at the Living with incurable cancer forum - patients only, I’ve put the link in for you to tap on. It’s a very supportive group all of whom have been told they have incurable or for some terminal cancer. There is also an ongoing post about three good things that a now departed member started up that perhaps might be of interest. One coping strategy for when things are tough is to see what there is we can feel grateful for around us, we can find those things when we are more in the now moment than racing ahead as to what may be, but it maybe something that we planned to do and achieved in that day, or something we noticed and loved on a walk, or something we felt good about while talking to a friend, the 3 good things could be endless. Sometimes it’s really hard to get to three, and hopefully once starting the habit before going to sleep it might be hard to limit them to 3. Night time is often the hardest time to be positive as the distractions during the day have perhaps kept us going and at night it’s still and quiet, and sometimes there are thoughts like you’ve expressed that might come up. 

My sister died suddenly in January and so what’s the point isn’t something I want to let into my day. I have the opportunity of a clinical trial coming up maybe if this scan is showing the increase I think there will be but the fact that there is a trial is for me a big part of my 3 good things, I’m just choosing to ignore the bad points that come with the trial having weighed them up, but will have a chat with oncology again after the scan. In the Incurables group there are people who do not have further options left or having weighed up the only option may have decided that quality of life is more important that quantity, I have no idea where your thoughts were coming from at the time of your post but I hope the act of writing how you felt was a help as at times that is what has helped me.

I hope you do have a look at the link

Thank you for your thoughts, Some days are much brighter and somedays i feel angry or hopeless or sad its such a roller coaster of emotions. Glad you are feeling closer w your husband.

Thank you for the link and your post. I was in a bleak mood when i posted those feelings and it helped in the moment. I then wished i could take it back because its not helpful and of course everyone on here has had some very bad times. I really am hoping that you find a good treatment option. I will think of three good things from today as im off to bed and keep the dark thoughts away.

Goodnight Wallwalker, I’m glad it’s sounding that your bleak mood has lifted a little.

That got me thinking Martina. I couldnt pinpoint the change (for the better) in my reationship and its just that-thank you

Thanks for sharing KT. That 12 months took a toll on me so its geat to hear your success.i hope all goes well with the oncologist

sylvia