Any advice with how to tell co-workers when you don’t want to but feel you have to?

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I was diagnosed with a very rare incurable sarcoma at the age of 31 last November and have been off work for 18 months. I’m currently on lifelong treatment and thinking of going back to work as I live with cancer. I’m quite private about my diagnosis, but my boss and HR know including two close colleagues.

I work for a small company and it has recently expanded with lots of new people, but I have existing colleagues who I’m not close to but feel my diagnosis could impact them with the way I work because I will be at regular appointments long term.

I don’t know if I should just ‘rip the bandaid’ and tell everyone to avoid all the questions of why I’ve been away in one go like an email, yet I’m uncomfortable in the new people knowing who never met me before. Am I making a big deal out of it / would people even care?

I feel I have to say something when I don’t want to just to have some control with my return. Or should I let HR tell people. I know there’s no right or wrong answer to this, but I keep sitting on the fence with this. Any advice or shared experience would be much appreciated.

Thehighlander over 3 years ago

Hi MissLuna, I just noticed your post and thought I would drop in past.

I was diagnosed way back in 1999 with an incurable but treatable rare blood cancer. I was very open with my work colleagues as like you, I had regular appointments often weekly for months at a time until I retired from my job 12 years later.

I was in education so my colleagues often had to cover my teaching sessions so I was open and honest and this just removed the speculation and was one thing less to worry about.

You may find this info pages about Talking to Family & Friends about Cancer helpful.

All the very best what ever decision you make ((hugs))

Mike (Thehighlander)

It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

My cancer story

Fuzzy Bear over 3 years ago

Hi MissLuna,

The fact you are looking to return to work is applauded, personally I would be open with your Cancer, I initially didn’t want anyone to know but that lasted a few days and I thought, why keep it a secret and I am very private, the whole company I work for know I have a rare blood cancer and they have a better understanding of how I may sometime feel when I return.

Easier said than done but but don’t hide because you could hold yourself back in some way, as for the appointments you have to go to, that’s down to you and your boss/hr to manage, don’t worry about what others may think, it’s about your well being and any decent person will be understanding.

I haven’t gone back to work yet, only diagnosed 9 weeks ago, but colleagues are the least of my concerns, I long to be able to return to a new normal.

Best wishes for your return, you will be fine and if your appearance has changed like mine, just go with it, Cancer is not your fault.

FuzzyBear x