Stage 4 Cancer, mental breakdown and my own family is in trouble.

Hi ,

Sorry to meet you here but pleased to meet you nonetheless.  I am now over 6 years since I was informed that I was terminal with kidney cancer but in my case the medication is keeping things at bay  I find the physical changes are easier in a way to cope with.  It is a fact that I cannot walk as far as I used to, I often now need to sleep during the day, so I just deal with it.  The psychological changes can be much more difficult and unfortunately having fixed them once the blighters keep changing and mess you up all over again.  Add to that the fact that you have to deal with other people and their emotional response and it gets downright complicated.

I sought counselling in the community earlier this year.  I did that specifically as everyone I talked to wanted to push me towards counselling regarding my illness but I was clear that whilst my illness was a part of my issue it was not the only thing and I was not even sure it was the biggest thing.  I had six sessions with my counsellor and did not expect that to touch the sides.  Surprisingly it was enough that I felt able to go back to looking after my own mental health and accessing any support that I needed.  For me this was mainly giving myself space the relax and remind myself to enjoy the moment rather than worrying about the "what if's".

One of my good friends on this forum encouraged me to open up on here as she had a great belief that there was enough experience here to help me through this.  I'm afraid that this was a step too far for me but I know that she had benefitted greatly from doing so.

I don't know how much you have had time to explore the site yet but there is also a group for people with experience of Gioblastoma who may be able to assist you with any specific experiences or indeed given the amount of time since your operation you may be able to assist them.  I have put a link Click here to access to the forum if you want to have a look.

It can also help others if you put some information in your profile, initially you could just about cut and paste your above post as this would give others a good idea of where you are coming from.  If you click on anyone's user name you can see what they have said about themselves, some put a lot, others just the basics.

I know that it can be difficult to fit everything you want to do into day sometimes but have you tried incorporating some exercise into your day,  Using the journey home to run or walk for a while, perhaps parking further away or getting off the bus a couple of stops earlier.  If you cannot fit it in then perhaps you need to look at trying to reduce your hours if you are able to enable you to exercise.  If it is so critical to your mental health then it might be your work that has to adapt.  Have you advised your work that you are disabled as this gives you some additional rights.  The advisors on the MacMillan helpline are excellent with information like that.  They ca also advise you if you are entitled to any benefits.  I received PIP whilst I was still at work as it is not means tested.  The advisors can let you know if you might be eligible and could pit you into contact with a nurse or advisor in the community who could help you make a claim.  As someone who has been told they are terminally ill you should be abl to ask them to complete a DS1500 form for you but they can explai it all to you in more detail.

I hope that this has been helpful and has given you at least a couple of pointers.  I'm sure that others will be along before long to welcome you and add their own insights,

All the best,

Gragon x