Worry and anxiety

Hi Shellw

Im currently having treatment for lung cancer and all I can really say to you is, take one day at a time and carry on putting one foot in front of the other. You need to stay strong.

it will consume your every waking moment if you let it but try to think of positives - which is easier said than done I know.

use this group as a sounding board and other people will help you I’m sure. They’ll also signpost you to other places that could help you. I’m currently trying to get a counsellor

regarding the letter and waiting for results, they won’t forget you so don’t worry too much BUT if you are concerned, give them a call. Your mental health is as important as your physical health.

Hi , it sounds like things are pretty tough for you at the moment, I’ve had my fair share of worry and concern to, as it’s 6 years since my original diagnosis I had a scan on Wednesday and my results will be on the 23rd at my appointment. 

I don’t know if you have a cancer diagnosis and which one it is, or if your suspecting you will get a diagnosis, but worry is worry and if you can’t sleep or eat that is not good, but great that you want to reach out before you start worrying about worrying on top of everything else.

I like to think of having a toolbox of things I can do while waiting for results, a tool box I can dip into and choose try different things to see how they work.

Denial / distraction was my first method.  My GP sent me to A&E for a suspected hernia, while in hospital that was ruled out and Lymphoma was mentioned as a possibility by a group of trainee drs on their round with a consultant, a very nice Macmillan nurse then came to see me and told me not to google as there were over 80 types of lymphoma, and it was best to just carry on as normal until you know something for certain.

Exercise is my usual method to not think about what I don’t want to think about but I wasn’t well enough to go for a walk perhaps you are and it helps to get the energy of emotion out and can help with sleep.

Music helped, I do play the guitar but I didn’t turn to that I just had music on in the background while I tried to keep busy. Instrumental was best otherwise when I had my diagnosis (which wasn’t Lymphoma but metastatic melanoma) I would latch on to words and start thinking about them.

TV can be a distraction especially if there’s no adverts, otherwise my brain would latch on to every funeral plan, life insurance, Macmillan advert etc, Although I suddenly became aware of how many plots have a cancer patient in them. On my birthday a Billy Connolly film was recommended to me, though they hadn’t seen it, a comedy, Billy Connolly died on his birthday of cancer, it was funny but really !!

I am sure you might have distraction methods you’ve used in the past while waiting for perhaps exam results ? But perhaps non of them are working and we are in strange anxiety prone times with the pandemic.

i had a few years earlier had counselling for work stress, and I had a work book printed off the internet to go through, I’d kept it so I reminded myself that worry wasn’t helpful and when times were hard I did a worry diary. I wrote down briefly what my worry was and what I did to cope and what the result was. You then can see if the worry is something that can be solved by doing something, or if there is nothing you acknowledge the worry and hopefully move on to not thinking about it, and write down what helped with not thinking. My GP also arranged for counselling again after my incurable diagnosis. I found writing the worry down and giving myself 10 mins only each day to relook at the list and add anything to it helped. Doing that reduced the amount of time I spent worrying and made me acknowledge, yes it’s the same worry I have nothing new, and for goodness sake most people would worry about it if they were in the same situation, so it made worrying feel normal and something I could reduce the time spent on it, if that makes sense.

Mindfulness, I don’t know if you’ve heard the phrase but there are a few apps to help you ground yourself to the moment and be grateful for what’s happening now rather than thinking about a possible future you don’t want or like. My husband has one on his phone, Headspace, I’ve seen it on Netflix as a series of programmes and for me the visual cartoon makes it easier for me. The NHS site is a good place to start maybe for suggestions. I couldn’t get into it but felt I should have it in my tool bow for times when I can’t walk, like during the 13 week shielding period. Walks in the countryside are my usual go to place for relaxing and so mindfulness had to replace that. I did a Macmillan HOPE course to think about more things I could do and also my local cancer centre had other courses or activities on offer.

Sorry for long post I should stop now and perhaps the link below might help

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/impacts-of-cancer/anxiety

Let me know how you what you’ve tried, or want to try, oh and very usefully it nice to write down 3 good things that you are grateful for each day, to help think about positive things.

Hi , the waiting for results can be hard as it’s one of the times in the cancer journey you can’t actually control much. I have been on my journey over 22 years and have lost count of the tests, biopsies and the times of waiting.

I thankfully realised very quickly that I could try and throw all the stress and worry I could muster at this, but in the end it made no difference to what is found and said....... but it made a massive difference to what condition my body and mind was in when receiving results.

It is very important that you eat and sleep as this is where your body gets it’s fuel to function. Going into a cancer journey exhausting is not a good starting point.

Mindless eating stuff that you may see as indulgent, why not. Sleep is a mystery but get yourself a note book and put it beside your bed. When all the thoughts and questions start to buzz round your head, park them in the note book..... you are not going to get answers at sill-o’clock but once you have all these thoughts in one place you can then use this information to put questions together to be ready for your appointments. ((hugs))

Thank you so much for the reply 

Thank you so much 

Thank you so much 

Awaiting test results can be hellish, so what you're experiencing is quite normal. When I received my out-of-the-blue diagnosis of advanced prostate cancer over three years ago, I was told at that stage that it was incurable. Any test results have, for me, been a question not of good news or bad news, rather the degree of 'badness' the test would show. Perversely, that clarity of my prognosis from the outset might have made any testing less stressful - we'll never know.

However, it doesn't mean that waiting for test results hasn't provoked some anxiety and I too have experienced the effects you describe. My own ways of dealing with these are as follows:

Stay away from Dr Google! The known high ratio of garbage to fact will not help you at all. By all means use proven UK sites such as this one, the NHS, Cancer Research, etc., but swotting up on the Umbongo tribe who have no cancer of the left earlobe due to their consumption of the testes of pink and orange chequered monkeys will bring you no peace.

You must eat. For reasons that were never pinned down, either by the oncology clinic or my GP, I lost my appetite last year and lost over six stones. It was only through the encouragement/bullying of my dear wife that, some days, I ate anything at all. The real downside of these few months is that, although my eating is back to normal, I've lost quite a bit of muscle as well as fat and I'm paying the price for that in my inability to walk very far. Please don't go down that road.

As for sleep,  the two things that helped me were, firstly, have a shower not long before you go to bed. To do so is inherently refreshing yet relaxing. The other thing that worked for me is a regular change of bed linen - again, there seems to be a refreshing element there that helped me relax into sleep. It's not perfect; I still have some poor nights but, as a retiree, I can doze during the day if I want!

As for your neck lump, I hope you get the result you want. Fill your days with distractions, no matter how frivolous. If you want to overdose on YouTube videos about cute puppies and kittens, who cares? I did that and also found that I enjoyed art, something I hadn't done since schooldays. I'm not very good but again, who cares?

Best Wishes.

Hello glenuser I’m sorry to be highjacking your chat with shellw but I’d just like to say how helpful your written response is, not only to shellw but to me too! It’s given me some hope snd also a different way to look at the degree of bad news; I will use that strategy after my fourth chemo session when I’m due to have a CT scan.

Thank you once again 

I’ve cautiously found this forum (scared to read anything that frightens me more than I am already) as I too am awaiting an appointment. Thanks for the comments and the suggestions.