Lost!!

FormerMember over 4 years ago

4 replies
13 subscribers
967 views

Hi everyone, it’s my first time on here so apologies if I blabber on!!

I was diagnosed with lower oesophageal cancer in March last year & initially it was treatable & removable... Unfortunately, due to delays because of the pandemic the cancer spread and in August last year I was given the news that it was now terminal & my prognosis was 1 - 2 years!!

I’m 41 and have a 9 year old son... Up until recently I have managed to maintain a positive outlook on things & tried as much as possible to “forget” about it!!

over the past few weeks, since Xmas really, things have really begun to get on top of me & everything seems to be becoming very real very quickly & I don’t know what to do or where to turn!!

I have a fantastic family & friends around me who are all desperate to help me with whatever I need but I feel like such a burden when I begin talking to them & start getting upset!!

For the first time in my life I’m really scared, but not about me, I’m scared about what my condition is doing to those I love, especially my son!!

I don’t really know why I’m even putting this on here, I suppose I just want to put it down in writing as something of a release!!

I know I’m not the only person to have these feelings but I just feel so alone & lost!!

anyway, thanks for reading and please feel free to reply ...

ownedbystaffies over 4 years ago

Hi @ Bear79

No need for any apologies. Many of us on here have been there and will understand your fears and lostness. Probably a good forum for you to join, as well as the one for your specific cancer, would be the "Living with Incurable Cancer". It is a well used forum and you will get support there in a way you may not find on other forums. Prognosis is an inexact science, and is statistical averages. Many of us in the "incurables" have outlasted prognosis but are also realistic not to offer false hope etc. You are scared for what it means for your son and other loved ones, but in order to be there as much as you can for them, you need support too - reaching out is the right thing to do.

FormerMember over 4 years ago in reply to ownedbystaffies

Thank you x

Gragon over 4 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Hi ,

I'm also on the "Living with incurable cancer" group but notice that you have not joined the group or posted anything. I'm not sure if you are used to navigating the site so I have put a link HERE and if you click on it you will be taken straight to the incurables group. You are welcome just to have a look at the posts but feel free to post any comments yourself if you want to. It is a very active and welcoming group.

If you have any specific questions regarding your cancer and treatment then the Oesophageal cancer group is probably the place to ask. If you CLICK HERE the link will take you directly to the group.

It might also be a good idea for you to call the Macmillan helpline on 0808 808 00 00. The can offer emotional support to you and your family but can also help you with any questions about practical matters. They helped me in claiming on my life insurance, claiming benefits, clarifying my rights as a worker including taking early retirement on medical grounds with my full works pension. I also talked to a Macmillan nurse about how to tell my son who was 7 when I first found out i had cancer and was 9 when I was told I was terminal. I have been fortunate in that treatments have now been developed for my type of cancer which means that I am six years on from my terminal diagnosis. My father died of oesophageal cancer about 16 years ago and I know how devastating it can be but my father remained very active and capable until just before his death.

I hope to talk to you on the incurables group sometime but wish you all the best.

Gragon

FormerMember over 4 years ago in reply to Gragon

Thank you so much for your support, I will join those groups immediately