Another long night. There is only so long you can keep your mind switched off. 4 hours is a good night one for me. Desperately trying to lose some weight trying to keep out the kitchen. Im normally i comfort eater when stressed. On holiday in lanzarote didnt want to disappoint everyone family by canceling it. Diagnosis given on thursday travelled on friday. Im trying hard to get up washed dressed and pretend everything is fine. This would be so much easier if i wasnt so sleep deprived i have now mastered crying in my sleep. So my eyes constantly look red at least i can blame hay fever. Have agreed the kids can now tell their friends my hope with this is they will get some support because their not talking to me about it. I suppose we all need someone to talk to. My boyfriend cant understand why i post on here. But it really helps me. I think it lets me straighten my head out. The best of it is i dont have to pretend everything is fine.
Rant over x
Hi ,
It always feels worst when you know what is wrong but don't know what the final plan might be or when it will happen. Once you have a clear plan and a timetable you will be able to focus on that much better. We all seem to have a tendency to look on the worst possible outcomes as that is what we are most scared of so the more we learn the more in control we can usually feel. I don't know much about the options available to you but I see you have joined the breast cancer group and I am sure that they will be able to offer lots of information and support.
You might want to give your oldest child the number for the Macmillan helpline 0808 808 00 00 as she might be able to get some assistance there. For your younger children there is a website called "riprap" (click here to go to the site) which is specifically for teenagers whose parents have cancer.
I know you are on holiday at the moment but can I suggest that when you get back you go to see your GP and see if he is prepared to prescribe either some anti anxiety medication or something to help you get a good nights sleep. Dealing with cancer is a shock for anyone and many people benefit from such medications to start with. Most people only need them for a short period as once things start to move forward they are more able to focus on what is happening. If I can't sleep I often play some gentle music and just sit and try and focus on the music so that at least if I am not able to sleeo I can rest and relax a bit. Often I end up feeling tired again and am able to go back to bed and sleep again.
All the best,
Gragon x
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