Waiting for my results its cancer but what type is unsure. I had a lump removed out my breast at age 9 i want to say i cant remember but the fear still remains. Now 46 and the fear is back. 5 years ago i had a pulmonary embolism i was told that the next 24 hrs were crucial to my survival. I never thought anything would scare me that much ever again. How wrong can be? I get up trying to carry on like nothings wrong. The whole world continues moving like it always has. But ive changed i feel dirty and angry as this thing grows inside. No amount of washing or talking will make it go away. The mixture of emotions is frighting im my own Jeckle and Hyde. Im also told with my history i need a genetic test done. I have 3 daughters who are 14, 17 and 20 who could all be a risk. How could i possible tell them their at risk. Lets hope it doesnt come to that. Time feels like its moving so slowly. Imputting my war paint on going out to face the world. Perhaps the world out there is moving faster than it is in my 4 walls.
I know that people are suffering far bigger battles my heart goes out to them. Some how writting it down keeps me sane.
Hi and welcome to the online community
Waiting to find out what type of breast cancer you have will be a very stressful time for you. I didn't have the same type of cancer as you but I do understand all about waiting for results! I realise that saying try not to worry isn't that helpful but worrying will not change the outcome but will make you feel worse.
It's perfectly natural that your emotions are all over the place and to feel angry when you've just been diagnosed especially as you have the added worry that your cancer could be genetic.
Could I suggest that you join the breast cancer group as you'll find lots of people in the same position as you who you can chat with. If you'd like to join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the page that opens.
If it is discovered that your cancer is genetic then you might find this information on talking to children and teenagers helpful. The Macmillan Support Line is also a good source of advice and the specialist nurses there can help you with how to explain to your daughters about the results of the test if necessary. It's free to call on 0808 808 0000 and is available every day from 8am to 8pm.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
