My mother in law was told she had cancer after being taken to A&E coughing up blood at the end of February. Gradually over the following weeks we learned she had small cell lung cancer with mets in her bones, lymph nodes, and adrenal glands and a sarcoma. She was taken urgently as an inpatient to a hospital 90 mins away to have radiotherapy on a tumour on her spine which was pressing on her spinal column. Every week we have another appointment and every week we just get more bad news.
She started Chemotherapy on 16th April but was told that day she had 3 brain mets on her CT scan. She then had an MRI and next appointment we were told there were 17 brain mets. We weren't told if this was because and MRI is a better image or if things had got that much worse in 11 days between scans. (and forgot to ask as we were in shock) Chemo was then put on hold and she is currently back in the radiotherapy unit having whole brain radiotherapy. Chemotherapy may or may not start again.
She has told them she doesn't want to know how long she has got but firmly believes she will get back to her old self and possibly live well and happy for a couple of years. I know this positive attitude may indeed be the thing keeping her going but it is so hard on the family. We have been told that the treatment is only palliative so are presuming that she probably won't ever feel any better than she does now.
It's hard not knowing what to expect and not being able to make any plans. She has managed a 30 min trip in a wheelchair around Sainsburys last week and that left her out of it for 2 days but she was so determined to go.
Sorry for my ramble, just wanted to know how you cope with the not knowing? We lost her husband my father inlaw on 31st May last year to a heart attack very suddenly and although we know she is going to die from her cancer we are left with so many unknowns.
Hi
It must be very hard for you coping when your mother-in-law doesn't want to know her prognosis. I haven't been in this position, as it was me that had cancer, but I noticed that your post hadn't had any responses.
Could I suggest that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you can share your worries and get support from others who know what you're experiencing.
To join just click on the link I've created and copy and paste your post from here to save you typing it out again.
When you feel up to it, it would be really useful if could pop something about your mother-in-law's journey so far into your profile as it helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
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"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
