I am so sorry for your loss. I have not suffered from the loss of my partner but have lost both of my parents to cancer and still miss them many years later.
In the case of both my parents they were ready to go by the time they died and it was difficult to begrudge them the release although it is painful nonetheless. Can I suggest that you consider joining the "bereaved spouses and partners group". If you click here the link will take you straight to the group. They will all have had a similar experience to yourself and may be able to offer more appropriate support.
