Mum to 2 boys under 10 - eldest with SEN

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Hi,

turning here as realigning tonight how incredibly emotionally exhausted I allready am and how I am holding it together for everyone else.

I have has my diagnosis since the middle of August Er+/PR+/HER2 borderline invasive duct. Still waiting on treatment plan and lymph biopsies.

i have 2 boys 9 and 7 and my eldest is an Autisyic ADHDer who is struggling massively with his emotion regulation. My husband is no doubt also on the spectrum and absolutely no good at helping my son regulate more often than not adding fuel to the fire rather than helping the situation so it’s pretty much always down to me.

Today has been a particularly tough day following back to school and bedtime has been awful.

how how how am I going to do this after surgery and during treatment. I am allready living on the edge and have. No capacity for more. Tonight broke me and I have had a good cry but it has made me realise how much I am holding it all together and how little I have appreciated to what this all means forever me.

not sure what I am looking for here really but I guess I am hoping that there are others who may have been or are experiencing similar. It would be nice to feel less alone.

Coddfish 21 days ago

Hi Mamatotwoboy

I am sorry to hear you are struggling with this. It’s very difficult waiting for a treatment plan and can see how your family situation will add to the stress of this. I am one of the community champions on the breast cancer forums. Our main Breast cancer forum is a lot busier than this one so you might also want to join it and post an introduction on there. Wishing you well.

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I have metastatic Triple Negative Breast Cancer, in remission

MaggieM2125 7 days ago

Hi Mamatotwoboy

I was diagnosed around the same time & like you have 2 small kids 4&2.

can I ask how are you now & how is your treatment plan progressing ?

I await my mri results as I have lobular grade 2 , er+ her borderline .

also how are your kids ? I can’t imagine the added pressure with them being older l( I’m trying to conceal from my 2 for asking as possible )

hope you are coping ok. X

Metastaticmum 5 days ago

Oh I totally feel this. I got diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer so stage 4 er/pr + HER2 negative late August. It was very sudden as I’m already experiencing all the symptoms and basically became disabled overnight.

i have an 8 year old and 4 year old with suspected ADHD who started reception as I was admitted to hospital. At first children may appear resilient or at least not to take it all in but I’m starting to see the strain on them. They aren’t sleeping well, have been sick already, teary at school and the little one has developed a real fear of the dark.

Have you told their school? Our school community has been great and the Headteacher straight away got the counsellor in to speak with my boys weekly. She just does little sessions with them out of the classroom colouring etc. I’m sure there is something the SENco can do.

Home is hard as that’s where they let it all out. We just have to let the feelings out and manage as best as we can in that moment. I definitely do not get it right all the time but just acknowledging how hard it is as a family allows you all some grace.

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Mum to 2 boys under 10 - eldest with SEN