Worried

Hi @Apple02,

Firstly, I’m so sorry you are having to go through this, my younger kids were 15 and 12 at the time of my diagnosis, (gcse yr, not the best). I had invasive Lobular BC. I did reply to a comment you posted on another thread.

I was grade 3, as tumour was 6cms and In lymph nodes.

Everyone will tell you Chemo is so personal to the individual. It depends what drugs you have. Do you know if your tumour is hormone receptive or HER?

Im sure someone at the hospital will talk through the side effects with you or you might have an information booklet like I had which lists all known side effects, I stopped reading it lol.

Is it a mastectomy you are having? Or lumpectomy? I had a left side mastectomy then 3 weeks later lymph node clearance.

Let me know if you want to know more about side effects, I had EC and Docetaxel x

Hi 

Thank you for replying.

This has whole thing has totally hit me like a big wave. I don't know yet about my HER2 as still wiating for the results. I am having a lumpectomy and have been told they will be removing 1 node but possibliy 2.

Again I don't know what the Chemo will be until after the surgey which is why I feel worried. I have loads of questions but they tell me they will be answered after the surgery. 

I know I have to take it one step at a time but its so hard.

My body has so many scars on it already and I am coping with those but I think i'm so scared as I don't know how I am going to look afterwards, I know this probably sounds silly but I feel like its my boobs and will it be noticable??  Sorry im not explaing it well. 

I just feel really muddled up. Is this normal??

XXXX

Hi again  I’m sorry it’s taken be so long to reply, this site has had a new upgrade, which is causing a lot of problems and although I have checked to see if you had seen my last reply, for some reason your reply hasnt shown up for me to see until now.

I am presuming the reason they can’t give you more information is that they will have to wait till after your op ( which you will have had now I realise after reading back) and will wait for results from that than they will be in a better position to give you a clean plan.

It is really hard waiting for things to happen, but I can assure you it is absolutely ‘normal’ to have any feelings you are having, as this is unique to you.
It can be very frustrating waiting for results. I think they are waiting to see if there is anything in the lymph nodes.

Are you still waiting for the results? Let me know how you are getting on x

Hi Beachwalker19,

Where do I start!! 

I feel this whole thing is so traumatic and its worse with Covid 19 as you can't be with the people who want to support you. It feels like I am really going through this whole episode alone.

I went in to have the lumpectomy and they have removed it and 3 lymph nodes. I saw my consultant last friday where she has explained that thankfully they have removed all the tissue (so no more surgery) and that the nodes are clear.

The diagnosis is good that they've caught it early but we are STILL waiting for the HER2 results!! 

She has told me that I will be having Chemo but again it depends on the results. I am still yet to meet my oncologist which I am hoping will be this week.

It's such a strange feeling... I feel happy that its all been removed yet I am still in limbo which is hard.

I know I have to be positive and everyone tells me this but why don't I feel it?? 

Thank you for repling to me I feel grateful I can vent this to someone other than my husband and I hope that you are well too xxx

Hi @Apple02, 

This is a cliche but a cancer diagnosis is a real rollercoaster of emotions. I know people say to be positive, and if I know that they mean well but a lot of people don’t really understand what you are going through, we all really do.

You have every right to feel whatever you are feeling, which is usually fear, anger, frustration and the no mans land you say limbo. 
I don’t really know much about HER 2 as mine was ER and PR positive. I had chemo as my lymph nodes were affected, but at least you have had the lumpectomy and your nodes were clear.

I hope you see your oncologist soon, I think once you have seen them you will feel abit more informed and you might have your care plan in place and told more about your treatment. I certainly feel better once I knew exactly what the plan of action was and just wanted to get on with it  and get in done.

Please keep in touch and let me know how your getting on.

Vent away no problem. I’m doing well, Thank you. I got a call from Breast care yesterday and have my 2nd Anniversary mammo on Friday x x

I've learned that there's a lot of limbo with cancer, because for a long time there's a bit more diagnosis or treatment to come. Celebrate the bits that you can, and try not to worry about the bits that aren't certain yet. I know that's much more easily said than done, but it's great that you've got some good news already. xx

Hi m123

sorry for the late reply. 

I am still waiting!! I went to see my consultant again on friday where she removed the stitches from my underarm (this is such a relief as it was stinging so much), she seems to be happy with the healing which is great but just as before they still did'nt have the results so they've said hopefully they should be here tomorrow. 

its so frustrating all the waiting as all i want to do is just get on with it, and know what to expect...I am trying to deal with it by doing some breathing exersices but my mind just keps going back to it all. I am not good at being a patient patient!!

I will try to take it slowly as much as I can.

I hope that you are well and doing ok too xxx

Hi Beachwalker19

Sorry for not replying sooner, I've just not had the energy to get back on here as I am still waiting... It's so frustrating but I am trying to do my breathing exercises to help me be calm. 

I think you are right I just need (want) my results so I can get my head around the next step... am I having chemo or not??? 

How did your mammo go on friday?? Hope it was ok xxxx

Being a patient patient is really, really hard! I hope you've been ok since you got your results xx

Hi   How are you doing? I presume you will have your results by now. If you feel like talking, let me know. Mammo went well, Thank you, just got results, all ok x