Advice on mood changes when on HT

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Hi, my partner was diagnosed with prostate cancer 3 years ago, he had a radical prostatectomy followed by radio therapy. Things have been ok for a few years and his PSA levels have stayed low. A few months ago his PSA levels had risen and he had a PET scan, the results came back that the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes resulting him being diagnosed with incurable cancer. He has started HT and due to start another medication next week. I understand what HT can do to a man but the mood swings and angry outbursts are coming between us. I’ve tried to make him see the impact it is having on us as a couple and suggested talking to someone either as a couple or on his own. He can’t see any wrong in his behaviour and is in denial that the medication is causing him to act this way. I don’t know what to do to help him, or help us. I’m scared that things will get that bad that I have to walk away. It is destroying us as a couple. I feel like I’m helpless and don’t know what to do anymore. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated. 

  • Hi Lou22,

    Welcome to the online community. My name is Anne and I’m one of the cancer information nurses on the Support Line. I’m sorry to read of your partner’s diagnosis of incurable cancer and how difficult things have become between the two of you. I’m glad you have reached out for more support as it sounds like a challenging time for you both.

    When cancer is classed as incurable, it often means that the aim of treatment is no longer to completely get rid of the cancer, but to slow the growth and manage symptoms. Hormone treatment is recommended for most men in this situation as it reduces the amount of testosterone, which may slow the growth of the cancer or stop it growing for a while. Many men do experience mood changes on these medications. This may settle down but for some, it can carry on.

    We understand how difficult it can be at times supporting someone with a cancer diagnosis. I wonder what sort of support your partner has been offered so far. Sometimes it is helpful speaking to others in a similar situation. Support groups or one-to-one support may be worth exploring. Sometimes people find it is easier to speak to someone they don’t know.  His GP or Clinical Nurse Specialist (CNS) can refer him for counselling if that is something he would be open to considering.

    It’s important to think about getting more support for yourself too. You can find out more about the different ways of doing that here. You may also find it helpful to have a look at our booklet Cancer and relationships.

    Coping with a terminal illness can be difficult. Being told that the cancer is no longer curable may also be affecting his mood. It’s normal to feel frightened, angry and worried about the future. Your partner may wish to ask the GP for a referral to the palliative care team. They can get involved at any stage when someone has been diagnosed with a life limiting condition. In fact, many people have support from this team for several years. It’s all about living well and managing symptoms.

    If the mood changes continue, you may wish to let his GP or Clinical Nurse Specialist know about this. Although they won’t be able to discuss his health with you without his permission, you can certainly make them aware of your concerns.

    Please know that we are only a phone call away if you’d like to have a confidential chat with one of my colleagues about the situation.

    Take care for now,

    Anne - Cancer Information Nurse Specialist

    Cancer Information Nurse Specialist 

    You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or send us an email

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