Hi,
My dad was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer (Gleason 9) about 2 months ago.
He’s been receiving hormone treatment since June and is also on medication to prevent osteoporosis. Tomorrow he is due to commence enzalutamide.
My dad has been having mood swings and emotional meltdowns at home. We don’t see this but my mum reports he can appear heightened and tearful. My dad hasn’t opened up about how he is feeling and isn’t wanting to access emotional support through forums and groups.
He has been advised to engage in 150mins of cardio activity per week and strengthening exercises to prevent loss of muscle mass. However, he seems completely demotivated and isn’t really doing any of this. I’ve been gently encouraging ideas to him, hoping he might take something on board, but he isn’t. I don’t want to overwhelm or put pressure on him, but I also don’t want him to neglect himself.
I wonder if he feels the joy has been taken out of his life. He had a serious injury at work resulting hearing loss which impaired his quality of life and he was forced to retire - and now his cancer diagnosis feels an even bigger struggle.
I wonder how to support my dad when he is struggling emotionally behind closed doors but not opening up. Also, how to try and gently encourage him to engage in healthier living habits such as exercise when he is clearly feeling demotivated and experiencing low mood? His only real interest is playing golf but that’s slowing down now that the winter is coming in. He doesnt do anything during the day except sit on the sofa, watch sport or sleep…
Please can you signpost me to any tools or services (but not support groups as he doesn’t want this) where he can access support for his mental health and overall wellbeing?
He has unpleasant side effects from the drugs which impacts on his ability to sleep, eat, rest. He also has diverticulitis which is very uncomfortable for him. I worry that with the addition of enzalutamide commencing too he might find it harder to cope with any more adverse effects.
The oncologist told my dad to maintain a positive outlook but I fear he isn’t and I don’t want him to go down a slippery slope. How can we support without pushing him, but ultimately want to make sure he’s giving himself the best chance of peace, relaxation, fulfilment and general wellbeing.
Many thanks.
