Prostate cancer

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Good evening I’m wondering if you could help me

my dads just been recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and he is finding things really difficult, he has taken to his bed and he is really depressed , the x ray showed that dad had the cancer in his hip and 3rd vertebrae also so we are presuming it’s spread , he’s not taken very well to opening mail or attending appointments and he keeps lying to us about phone calls and appointments, it’s becoming very distressing for me as a daughter to watch him go so down hill already , is there any advice you of help you could give me please

so far all he has had is bloods and a X-ray , he’s attended a appointment at urology which they spoke to him about a few things and they have sent him a appointment for a ct scan but I honestly do not think he will go to it , he says yes but then when it comes to it he says he can’t because he’s in pain , I’m really worried about my dad

thanks

Jo - Macmillan 15 days ago

Hi Disneylandb3ad46,

Thanks for getting in touch. My name is Jo and I’m one of the Cancer Information Nurses on the Macmillan Support Line.

I am sorry to hear that your dad is finding things difficult following his recent prostate cancer diagnosis. It’s understandable that you’re worried about him and are finding this distressing, so I’m pleased you’ve reached out for support. This sounds like a really challenging time for you both.

It is common to have many different emotions, including feeling depressed, following a cancer diagnosis. There is no right or wrong way to feel. However, as it sounds as though your dad’s emotions are impacting on how he copes with daily life, it’s important that he gets the help and support that he needs.

You also mention that your dad is experiencing pain. Emotions, such as anxiety and depression can make pain feel worse. But people may also develop these problems if pain is not well controlled.

I wonder whether your dad’s urology team are aware of his pain and how he is feeling. If not, it would be advisable to let them know as soon as possible. They are in the best place to provide help and support as they are familiar with his prostate cancer diagnosis and have access to his medical records.

If you have the contact number for a nurse specialist within the team, then you could give them a call in the first instance.

There are also things that your dad might be able to do to help manage his emotions. Some people also find it helpful to speak to others in a similar situation by attending a self-help and support group

I see that you have joined the prostate cancer forum on our online community, and hope you are finding this supportive. There is further information and support available through the charities Tackle Prostate Cancer and Prostate Cancer UK.

It can be difficult supporting someone close to you with cancer, so it’s important that you don’t feel alone in dealing with this. There are a number of ways that we here at Macmillan can offer help and support to both you and your dad, so do please get back in touch.

You can speak with the Macmillan Support Line on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or email us.

I hope this information is helpful.

Best wishes,

Cancer Information Nurse Specialist

Ref: JD/SS

Paula L - Macmillan 15 days ago in reply to Jo - Macmillan

We also thought it may be helpful going forward for you to also be aware of a potential issue that can sometimes happen to people that have cancer in the spine called spinal cord compression. Its always good to be aware of the symptoms just in case they happen and to note if one or more of these symptoms occur, be sure to get dad seen by a doctor immediately by calling 111 or 999 or taking him to the nearest A&E.

Hope this helps.

Kind Regards

Paula L

Ref: PL/SMJ

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Prostate cancer