My mum is 88 and had her follow up appointment with her consultant this week, let me give you some history, 1st appointment was after a positive fit test, first doctor said not worried about this result your on blood thinners, regarding the diarrhoea I can give you some meds to take go home, mum refused and asked for further tests, 2nd consultant fabulous CT showed what they believe to be a small tumour on the left hand side of the bowel contained fully in the bowel, sent for further tests as CT scan showed potentially cancer else where, all further tests negative.
When we saw the 3rd consultant he asked mum if she knew why she was here, asked about her self care, did she live alone, was she physically active, what help did she have, mum answered all his questions and he said to her, right Joyce we believe you have bowel cancer, we haven't done the camera test but the CT scan shows a small contained tumour in your left hand bowel, we think if we operate you wont come out of hospital or if you do you will have to go into a care home at this point mum went into meltdown and advised she didn't want surgery etc.
I asked for staging of the cancer he said we haven't done a bowel camera scan but from the CT scan its contained and looks small, he never offered mum surgery, explained the cancer or what any potential outcomes could be good or bad, just scared her to death so mum didn't ask for surgery.
I asked what next and he said palliative care team will be in touch and referral back to GP, no further scans I asked what happens if it blocks the bowel well at that point we would operate and potentially a stoma bag fitted, asked for prognosis unable to give as not sure how long cancer has been there.
My questions are 1. if they haven't performed the final camera check how are we sure what stage the cancer is at 2. Regardless of her age surely they should have explained the surgery and their reasons for not offering it my mum 3. Scare tactics telling someone that they will lose their independence when they don't actually know how she would come out of the operation and not giving mum full information on the surgery so she can make an informed decision how is this right 4. No offer of drugs to potentially stem the growth of the tumour is this normal 5. no follow up scans just told if you get unwell go back to your gp? does any of this seem right and what can I do next.
I just feel like she's been written off because of her age and no treatment options were discussed or advised why they couldn't do them, i have never had a consult like it and now im so confused as to what if anything I can do now.
My mum has no idea what the future may bring with this and I can't tell her how bad it could become as at the minute she has no symptoms other than lose bowels so she isn't worried, she has no experience of seeing someone with cancer or understanding of where this potentially could take her. It's like they have decided that she will die before the cancer takes her but what if she doesn't there just going to let the cancer spread and develop when at the minute it could be removed please help.
