Mum

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My mum has kidney cancer and was also diagnosed June 2023 with brain cancer after a fall . She is 88 and is now in a home . She was always very independent and she still walks about with a frame and goes down for her meals . She also has pulmonary fibrosis. She was scared of dying . Today she said that she just has to accept what is happening and she has tenderness all around her head now and Praynnot move her right arm very well at all . She said combing her hair is uncomfortable . She is on medication also 2x mst at night as well as the morning , Her mouth is extremely dry . Do you think Prayat she is shutting down a bit . She seems very calm today . Any advice would me amazing . Thank you Pray

  • Hi Ehdj

    Thanks for getting in touch with Macmillan Cancer Support. My name is Sarah one of the Cancer Information Nurses on our Support Line.

    I am sorry to hear that your mum is experiencing discomfort and tenderness and cannot move her right arm at all. When symptoms change with a terminal diagnosis, it is understandable to feel scared of dying. This can be overwhelming and differ from day to day. It is good to hear that she feels calm today.

    When someone is being cared for in a ‘home’ their symptoms are managed by different health professionals. Sometimes the ‘home’ nurses are trained to support symptoms of advanced cancer. It can also be the GP and or community palliative care team.

    It is important to reach out to whoever is supporting your mum with her symptoms, as there are different ways to manage pain and a dry mouth. They can also explain whether these are a sign that things are shutting down.

    When someone close to you has advanced cancer this can bring different emotions. It can be helpful to talk things through with others who understand supporting a loved one with advancer cancer, through our online community.

    Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you’d like to talk things through. Sometimes it’s better to talk to one of our nurses so we can gain a better understanding of the current situation and give you the best guidance.

    I hope this information helps. Please feel free to get back in touch if you want more information or support.

    Best wishes,

    Sarah

    Cancer Information Nurse Specialist 

    You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or send us an email

    Ref/ SS/PW

    Sarah S-Macmillan Cancer Information Nurse Specialist