Surrogacy?? Adoption?? IVF??

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No one seems to want to help me and I get the impression I should just be grateful that I'm still alive.  I'm 5 years post breast cancer diagnosis and no nurse I've spoken too seem to understand or have any information about if there are any options for me being a parent. 

I also lost my sister to breast cancer aged 44 years and never had children.  Our breast cancer is not inherited, but I believe that is just because scientist haven't discovered the correct gene yet.

Preferably I would like to investigate surrogacy, but all websites suggest there are no British surrogates available. 

Adoption seems another option but as soon as you mention cancer I feel I will be dismissed, even though they suggest you can adopt if you've got a disability.

I'm guessing I can't use IVF and wouldn't want to use my own eggs anyway, due to being suggested I use tamoxifen for the next five years. I'm presuming turning my hormones back on would greatly risk my breast cancer returning??

Any help would be very helpful, but not just sign posting I've already researched extensively.

Thank you

  • Hello PumkinEm,

    Thanks for getting in touch with us during what sounds like a very difficult time for you. My name is Linda, I’m one of the nurses on the support line.

    Please accept my condolences for the loss of your sister. It’s hard losing a loved one.

    It’s natural during a very emotional time to make assumptions about what options you may have regarding IVF, adoption, and surrogacy. I wonder if you have been referred to a fertility clinic to discuss your options. I also wonder if you have spoken to an adoption specialist to clarify whether you would be suitable.

    I am not sure if you have had other treatments for your breast cancer that may affect your fertility.

    In most pre-menopausal women who take tamoxifen, the ovaries continue to work. When you start taking tamoxifen it can stimulate ovulation and can make some women more fertile, but it’s not recommended to get pregnant on tamoxifen.

    Continued use of tamoxifen means periods become less regular, lighter or stop altogether. Generally, your periods will start again once you stop tamoxifen unless you have gone through menopause naturally while taking it. It may take 4 or 5 months for your periods to become regular again.

    It’s difficult for us to say if you are at greater risk of your cancer returning if your hormones are switched back on. I would encourage you to clarify your risk with your breast cancer team.

    Some people find it helpful to talk with one of our nurses directly on the support line. If you think this may be useful for you, please call on the number below.

    Take Care and Best Wishes

    Linda J.

    Cancer Information Nurse Specialist 

    You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or email us. 

    Ref:LJ/HeP