Hi, my brother has just told me he has kidney cancer which has spread to his pelvic bones and lungs and consultant has told him it's terminal with only months left. I'm absolutely devastated. He lives a 3 hour drive away. How fast will all of this happen and what do I say to him? I can't stop crying at the moment so how can I be strong for him?
Hi Kido,
Thanks for getting in touch and welcome to the online community. My name is Fiona and I’m one of the Macmillan cancer information nurses.
I’m sorry to read about your brother’s diagnosis of advanced kidney cancer.
It’s understandable that you are feeling devastated at this news. When someone you care about has cancer, it is normal to experience many different emotions.
It’s natural to worry about what to say to someone who has cancer. You may find our booklet Talking with someone who has cancer helpful in this situation. It’s important to talk, but also important to listen to them.
You may find it helpful to call our Support Line and talk to someone about how you are feeling, and the situation. We are here every day from 8am to 8pm on 0808 808 0000.
It’s important that you also look after yourself so that you can support him. You may be interested to read about the counselling service that Kidney Cancer UK provide.
Often talking to others going through a similar experience can be helpful to do. There is nothing quite like the support that you can get from others who know what it’s like. We have a great online group that you can join.
I hope this information helps. Please feel free to get back in touch if you want more information or support.
Best wishes,
Fiona P,
Cancer Information Nurse Specialist
You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or send us an email.
Ref: FP/CF
