My mum is 80 and was told shadows on x rays and scans show that she has liver, kidney and lung cancer. She has declined any further tests or treatment.
Hi Wanderlost,
Welcome to our online community and thanks for posting your question. My name is Amy and I am one of the Cancer Information Nurse Specialists on the Macmillan Support Line.
We’re sorry to hear about your mum’s recent cancer diagnosis and that she doesn’t want any further tests. I appreciate this leaves you wondering what that means for her prognosis and how much time you have left together.
Even knowing where the cancer started doesn’t always help. But your mum’s cancer team may be able to give you guidance on what they think is most likely the primary and how long they think your mum is likely to live.
Sometimes looking at the rate of change can be a better indicator. If your mum’s condition is changing over many months, that would suggest months, over many weeks would suggest weeks and as you start to notice significant deterioration day by day, that may suggest she is reaching her final short weeks or days.
For many people the deteriorate is gradual. Becoming frailer, less active, eating and drinking less and sleeping more throughout the day for longer periods at a time.
Knowing the signs and symptoms can help to understand this better.
Although it can be difficult reading, our finding out you are nearing the end of life, last few weeks of life and last few days of life can be helpful to look through. We also have a coping with advanced cancer booklet and a guide for end of life booklet that has more information in it.
I also wonder if you might benefit from giving our support line a call. We often find we can explain our answers in a bit more detail over the phone, giving you the opportunity to ask more questions if needed. A conversation may make it easier to explore complex or emotional issues. We understand it can be very overwhelming. And although we can’t tell you exactly what to expect, we can help explain what usually happens for most people in a similar situation.
Often when a loved one is unwell people neglect their own health and wellbeing. We understand how hard it can be to try carve some time out for yourself but it’s really important you make sure you are looking after yourself as well.
Reaching out to others in a similar situation can help. We have our carer only forum and supporting someone with incurable cancer forum that you may find useful.
I hope this helps makes things a bit clearer but please do reach out to us again if you have any more questions or need any further support.
Best wishes,
Amy C, Cancer Information Nurse Specialist
You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or send us an email.
Ref: AC/FP
