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Gay sex and cancer treatment !

General63
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Hi there 

I am a 60yr old man and have been diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus stage 4 ! Having completed 8 cycles of target and chemo been told tumour is minimal at the moment and can now eat well and putting weight back on . I have been put on a 3 weekly maintenance jag of Trastuzumab indefinitely ! 

My partner of 9yrs and myself have maintained our sex lives throughout my treatment albeit making sure it was safe sex at all times , in case I passed any of the drugs to him through body fluids etc ! For us both still being intimate has been a big boost mentally and has brought us even closer than ever !

My question is can we go back to having unprotected sex together again now ? We trust each other inexplicitly in all aspects of our lives and would really like to be properly close with one another , even if its only nearer the end of my 3 weekly down period ! We are not together permanently but usually meet up every 3 weeks or so .

Hope you maybe able to give us some advice as drawing blanks and confusing information from other sources ! 

Many thanks D . 

  • Hi General63/D,

    Thanks for getting in touch and a warm welcome to the Online Community. I’m Heidi one of the Cancer Information Nurses here on the Macmillan Support Line.

    I am glad that you have found our LGBTQIA+ cancer forum and I hope that you find the online community a helpful and supportive environment.

    Thank you for sharing your diagnosis and treatment so far.

    Cancer Research UK has this information about trastuzumab, there does not appear to be any specific information about safe sex during treatment. The main thing is for you to both be safe and currently it is not known whether some cancer drugs, such as targeted therapies, can be passed on through the semen or bodily secretions. This is why some doctors will advise people to use a barrier method if you have sex during treatment.

    We would encourage you to talk with your specialist team about this, they will often be asked this question so please feel comfortable talking things through with them.  

    I can appreciate that this is really important to you, and you sound as though you have managed your intimate relationship wonderfully during your treatment, keeping you both safe whilst remaining close.

    You may have come across Live Through This, a peer run support group for LGBTIQ+ people affected by cancer which you might find helpful.

    I wish you all the best with your treatment and please don’t hesitate to get in touch again if we can support you further.

     

    Best wishes

    Heidi

    Cancer Information Nurse Specialist 

    You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or email us. 

    Ref/KG/HC

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