75 year old mom with high blood pressure to undergo surgery for oral cancer

Dear riversong,

Welcome to the online community. My name is Penelope and I am one of the Cancer Information Nurse Specialists. I am sorry to hear about your mom’s diagnosis and the distress that you are experiencing.

Your mom’s treatment will be discussed by her multidisciplinary team. This is a team of specialists who will consider any pre-existing health conditions such as high blood pressure when deciding on the best treatment for your mom. They are best placed to answer these questions for you as they are directly involved with her care.

Depending on the type of surgery, patients may have a pre assessment where their fitness for surgery and any specialist care needed will be identified.

There are risks and benefits of any medical procedure and your mom will be asked to sign a consent form detailing any possible side effects. If surgery is thought to be unsafe, however, then alternative treatment options would be discussed with your mom.

For general information on surgery the Royal College of Surgeons of England have resources on their website. The Royal College of Anaesthetists also outlines the care given to patients during surgery.  This includes information about how an anaesthetic is tailored to the needs of the individual and that they are closely monitored throughout the operation.

As you said it can be hard to speak to the doctor and know the right questions to ask. You may like to look at our booklet the cancer guide and making treatment decisions for general information and common questions.

Your mom’s GP may be able to help with some of your questions about her blood pressure. If your mom has been given contact details of a clinical nurse specialist (CNS) or keyworker they may also be able to give her advice on preparing for surgery. They would not be able to speak to you without your mom’s consent.

Uncertainty regarding the type of treatment and potential side effects can be very difficult. Getting as much information as possible can be helpful but it can also be overwhelming. Whilst it may not be easy it is important to look after yourself as well as thinking about your mom. Some people find that our family and friends forum is helpful for support and information. You are also most welcome to give us a ring on the Macmillan Support Line to talk through your concerns. The number is 0808 808 00 00 and we are available 8am to 8pm every day.

Best wishes,

Penelope, Cancer Information Nurse Specialist 

You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or send us an email. 

Ref/  KA

Thank you, Penelope, for your kind words. She hasn't gotten a PET scan yet to determine if or how much the cancer has spread but she and I are both terrified by the prospect of surgery. The growth/lesion is specifically on the inside of her left cheek wall and she fears she'll be disfigured after the surgery especially since she'll probably need to have some swollen lymph nodes in her neck removed too. The doctor didn't get too specific about the surgery but mentioned getting tissue from her arm or leg grafted into her mouth to patch it up? It was honestly a blur to me because I heard cancer and just started crying. If you have any idea of how severe this surgery will potentially be, please do let me know. I know you're not her doctor or nurse but I'd like some idea of what to expect. I'm also worried about her survival rate since I fear it has spread to her lymph nodes. Any help would be appreciated.

Hi riversong

Thanks for getting back in touch with our online community. My Name is Fiona and I’m one of the Macmillan information nurses.

As Penelope said, it will depend on the type of surgery your mom is having as to what the impact will be. On the Support Line we do not have access to people’s notes and so cannot say for certain how severe it will be. However, this information on surgery for mouth cancer may help you to understand better what may happen.

This information on talking to the healthcare team about treatment and questions to ask may help you get the answers you need.

I hope this information helps. Please feel free to get back in touch if you want more information or support.

Best wishes,

Fiona M,

Cancer Information Nurse Specialist 

You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or send us an email. 

Ref/CF

Thank you, Fiona. My mom is getting a PET scan Thursday so we'll know soon what her official diagnosis is. I'm quite nervous and anxious and I've fallen into the trap of searching the web for information on her cancer and I'm left only with grim survival odds. I hope and pray for the best and hope that anyone who reads this- if they're so inclined, could do the same for her. Thank you.

Hi riversong,

My name is Anne and I am one of the Nurses on the Macmillan Support Line. I see you have been speaking to my colleagues recently regarding your Mom. I’m sorry to read this is such an anxious time for you just now. It must be a worrying time for you both.

It’s normal to feel anxious in situations like this. However, looking for information on the web is not always helpful and it often feeds into the anxiety. It may be best to wait until Mom’s PET scan results are back and then have a discussion with her team about what happens next. They are also best placed to discuss her prognosis based on her own individual situation.

There are some ways to try and manage the anxiety which can be helpful, particularly during stressful times like this. Stepping away from the web is probably a good place to start as it won’t necessarily give you information which is relevant to your Mom’s case.

There are some lovely apps which you can pop on your phone which may also help you to manage the anxious thoughts and feelings. Many people find Calm and Insight Timer helpful, for instance.

It may help to talk things over with one of my colleagues on the Support Line. Sometimes just saying things out loud helps to calm our thoughts and can help relieve some of the pressure.

Take care for now,

Anne - Cancer Information Nurse Specialist

You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or send us an email.

Ref/**  KE