Hello, like the post from Evie about her mum, I too have major concerns about my mum's lack of appetite and also the effect this may be having on her mental health.
Mum is 84 and I'm her daughter and sole carer, she lives with me and we don't get support from anyone else.
It has been very hard for her in the last few months, she neglected what she thought was an ulcer on her leg (and she's a former nurse!) for some time, when I finally saw it when she asked me to start helping with her personal care it was biopsied and found to be inoperable cancer. I say inoperable in that it's too big and deep to remove. She's been "offered" the horrendous suggestion of amputation below the knee. They have ruled out radiology and chemotherapy as she is too frail - she is about 4 feet 10 and weighs around 7 stone or less. So how they think she could cope with amputation i don't know! She has very little physical strength. In the last few weeks, her appetite, always small, has dwindled to virtually nothing. GP and dietitian prescribed various nutritional drinks and supplements but she can barely get them down. she is eating virtually no solid food and can't drink much.
I have had to get the duty GP out to visit her the last two days as she has been confused, rambling and not making any sense. They started her on a low dose of Mirtazapine (anti depressant) for her anxiety and depression (something she has never experienced before) and also in the hope it might stimulate her appetite. She took the first dose last night and we had the worst night we've experienced so far. She was very tired, then got up and started wandering about in the middle of the night, thinking it was daytime and that I was her mother and also that I'd gone out of the flat and left her and she was looking for me. It was pretty frightening to hear her saying to me I was her mum!! Something along those lines has never happened before but since this diagnosis she has been getting more confused and worried. Often when she wakes from sleep that is the worst time for her confusion.
So the GP came today and immediately discontinued the Mirtazapine after that one dose. He also recommended she take less codeine than she's recently been prescribed for her leg pain as that is probably confusing her too! But then what does she take for pain relief?? Her vital signs were normal - blood pressure, oxygen levels etc but he did find a crackle in her chest and has prescribed antibiotics for a chest infection. I'm really hoping some of the confusion is down to that. Today she has slept most of the day and barely eaten. I woke her at 6pm and she was very confused not knowing where she was. She could only say "we're back in England". However, I got her to the bathroom and managed to wash her a bit, made her some tea, gave her first antibiotic and later managed to feed her half a bowl of thin milky porridge and she had some tea. She was making a lot more sense after all that and was apologising to me about calling me her mum last night and saying she was so sorry I had to go through this. It is breaking my heart, we are so close, it is just the two of us and I have barely slept in the last week and had a pounding heart every night through worry. The GP has referred us to Macmillan nurses I hope that comes through quickly and they can offer advice and support. We are in central York by the way. I tried to get some respite care organised through Helping Hands today but they were unable to offer anything apart from full time live in care (which we can't offer as we have a bedroom each, nowhere to put a carer) they don't have any capacity for respite care. I am trying Home Instead tomorrow. We probably wouldn't quality for any social care would we as mum has savings.
I'm feeling desperate and like I'm drowning and I don't know where this will end. Please help. Sorry this post is so bloody long!!! Annabelle X