Hi - my 77 year old mum was diagnosed in Feb 2021 with incurable and inoperable bowel cancer that had spread extensively to the liver and one lung. After a routine blood test in December she was called in to hospital for an emergency blood transfusion over 2 days and then had an endoscopy - this just showed her existing hiatus hernia had got larger, a CT scan showed the lung cancer and the Pet scan showed the bowel and liver cancer. The only treatment that could potentially be offered was palliative care chemotherapy, however my mum would need to have a colonoscopy to be able to see if this was possible. My mum was not keen on the colonoscopy and as she had seen my father go through chemotherapy for lung cancer and myself for breast cancer this was not a route she wanted. As she has heart failure the consultant was not sure she would be able to have chemotherapy. She was also diagnosed with Parkinson’s in late 2020 and has very bad arthritis in her back which means for the last few years she has been registered disabled and has not managed any stairs or been able to walk without a walking frame or stick. So, she decided to not have any treatment and to go for quality of life not quantity which the consultant thought was a sensible decision. The only new medication my mum has is iron tablets. My mum did not want to know any further details or length of time left etc. Following the death of my dad a few years ago she has lived on her own although she started to struggle more and more with her poor mobility and shaking. In Aug 2021 she was admitted to hospital with an infection where she stayed for nearly 2 weeks. The hospital did not want her to go home without any carer support so I moved in to care for her and I am still living here - I manage to go home on Sundays to spend time with my husband and family as my sister is able to support my mum then. Since I have been living here I have been able to ensure she has all her meals, drinks, medication at the correct time, put her to bed, etc. Her brain is fully functional and she enjoys watching tv. The only side effect I can see from the cancer is sometimes after a meal my mum will get pains in her side but that is all. So, my main question is, is this normal for my mum to not be having any affects of the cancer 13 months after diagnosis with no treatment ? How will I know when we need more support or medication ? I assume we still have a long way to go before we need an end of life pack etc ? As my mums way of dealing with this is to pretend it’s not happening I have no idea what to expect. With my Dad it was extremely quick, he had a shower, sat down and then died so I never saw him deteriorate. Thank you
