Mental Health

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Hi there

My mum was diagnosed with bladder cancer in October.  She has finished her chemotherapy and although the scans look like the tumour has gone, the side effects have been devastating on her and they now think there may have been some cancer cells in her lymph nodes as they are looking shrivelled post chemo.   She was going to have her bladder out but has opted for radio and chemo.  Because of the side effects, she can't have chemo now and will start radio on 14 February.  She is exhausted, can't pee properly, has diarrhoea, stomach cramps and is very depressed.  She is a different woman, she looks like an old woman and I feel I've lost my mum.  She's not eating really so she's lost lots of weight.  I work and am studying and have a daughter and she's reliant on me all the time but she doesn't want any help/carers so I feel overwhelmed and desperate to help and support her at the same time.  I'm sure this resonates with many.  The chemo nurse is helpful to a point but only up to a certain level and I don't expect them to solve these things.

I was wondering if there was a place in UK where patients recovering from chemo can go just to ensure she eats, she gets mental support and because she's been in bed for so long she is very weak so thought some physio may help.  Just for a few days?  Does such a place exist???  

Thanks

Jem

  • Hi Jem

    Thank you for contacting us today. My name is Debbie and I am one of the cancer information nurses on the Macmillan Support Line. I am glad that you got in touch.

    I am sorry to read that your mum has bladder cancer and has had such a tough time with the chemotherapy. I can understand how difficult it must be for you to see her going through this and can understand that you want to support her.

    The effects of the chemotherapy do sound very uncomfortable. It is best to get in touch with her treatment team at the hospital to ask what can help to ease the problems with passing urine, and the diarrhoea and stomach cramps. There are medicines that can help with these effects. We have information about coping with bladder and bowel problems that you might find helpful.

    You can ask the treatment team and GP about rehabilitation care for your mum. It is sometimes possible to go to a local hospital for rehabilitation, physiotherapy, and nutritional support. If this isn’t possible, support is available from the NHS and social services to help you and your mum. The GP or treatment team can also refer her for physiotherapy either in the hospital or while she is at home.

    The treatment team or GP can also refer your mum to a dietitian who can advise on foods to help her. Our information about a building up diet and easy to make but nutritious recipes can help people to maintain or increase their weight.

    Radiotherapy to the bladder could make her current side effects worse and so it is important for her to keep in touch with her treatment team so that they can help to reduce these as much as possible.

    Your mum’s GP can organise a district nurse to visit her and assess what help and support they can give. They can also let you know about other local support services. Here at Macmillan we offer free specialist counselling for people with cancer. This can be arranged within a few days and could help your mum with her mental wellbeing.

    If you feel that you need urgent help with your mum’s mental wellbeing or physical situation, you can call NHS111, which is available 24 hours a day.

    Dealing with cancer can be an emotional time and you might find it helpful to read our web pages about getting emotional support. You can also find details of support and information organisations in your area. Looking after someone with cancer can be very tiring and it is important to look after yourself too.

    I hope that this information is helpful and that you can get help quickly for your mum.

    With best wishes

    Debbie C

     

    Cancer Information Nurse Specialist

    You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or email us.

    Ref: FY