Aggressive cancer, secondary cancer in bone … from primary prostate cancer

Hi Clara,

I’m glad you have got in touch at such a difficult and confusing time. The online community is here to support you both and has many group options that you might consider going forward. For now, welcome.

I can hear how overwhelmed you are by your husband’s new diagnosis. You say that you are still in shock. This is a natural reaction to difficult news and your bodies way of taking some time to process what you have heard. The emotional impact of cancer is different for everyone. Please be kind to yourself and take the time you need to work through and understand what you have heard.

Can I start by reassuring you that hormone therapy can be very effective at controlling cancer growth. It is too early for you to see that response yet and I know how scary and uncertain waiting for these results can be. By asking when the next PSA blood test will be taken, this gives you something to aim for and focus on. My hope is that you will begin to feel less anxious when you see these levels in the blood beginning to drop. This would indicate the hormone treatment is working.

Anxious thoughts are often about the future and the timescales you mention, we call prognosis. You can find some general statistics here. Despite your need for more specific timeframes, the cancer team will not be able to offer these at this time. There are too many things that affect this – how successful your husband’s treatment will be for example.

If you find yourself stuck with these difficult thoughts going round and round, try bringing your thoughts back to the here and now. This moment, right now and something practical you can do for yourself or your family. Easy to say and hard to do but will hopefully help you manage these thoughts over the next few days or weeks.

I hope this is helpful, and remember you can also call us on the helpline if you want to talk things over with one of the nurses.  We are open every day from 8am to 8pm.

Best wishes and take care,

Kirsty

Cancer Information Nurse Specialist

Our REF JC