My husband had his kidney removed in March and although he's physically back to previous levels (he runs and cycles) his mental health has suffered greatly. He has lost all his confidence, worries about the tiniest little things and can't fully return to work - is this something he will need professional help with, or is it common and will pass?
Hello FireWitch and thank you for contacting the Online Community.
I’m sorry to hear your husband’s struggling with his mental health following his surgery in March. Cancer can be a life changing experience and while struggling emotionally is quite common, it’s a good idea to know what kind of support’s available.
Has your husband spoken to his GP FireWitch? His GP can discuss what kind of support might be available through the NHS, whether this is counselling, medication or some other avenue of support. There’s more information about what support they might offer on page 42 of our publication How are you feeling? The emotional effects of cancer.
Some people find it helpful to talk to others who have been going through something similar. Our Life after cancer forum is for cancer survivors and people who have finished treatment. It is a space to discuss things like the physical and emotional after effects of cancer, returning to work, or trying to move on with your life. We also have a kidney cancer forum and there are face to face support groups listed on our website.
Our publication Your feelings after cancer treatment looks at the emotional effects of cancer after treatment has ended. It includes information about getting support, coping with your feelings, and dealing with relationship changes.
Talking to someone you don’t know about how you’re feeling can sometimes be quite helpful too. We offer emotional support to anyone affected by cancer, so please let your husband know we’re here if it would help.
How are you just now FireWitch? I appreciate it can’t be easy seeing your husband struggling and you’ve obviously stood by him while he’s been through his cancer journey. It’s hard to see someone we love go through something like this. It goes without saying that we’re here for you too.
Alex, Information and Support Adviser
Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.
Thank you for coming back to us, and letting us know that you are finding the situation is starting to affect your mental health. At times like this, when you find yourself in a caring role, life can seem a little overwhelming at times, and it's important to talk about it, and reach out for support if needed. As Alex mentioned, we are here for anyone affected by cancer, which is also you. If you feel you would like a chat, you may like to call us on any day between 8am to 8pm on 0808 808 0000, we will give you a safe space to talk about how you are feeling; sometimes it can really help.
Another option for support you may like to look into is our carer forum on the Online Community. You may not think of yourself as a carer. because you are a partner to the person you look after, but understanding that you are a carer can be an important step in getting the extra help and support you need.
FireWitch often at times like this, people affected by cancer, like to meet others in the same situation, with that in mind, you may like to explore support that is close to you. To find local support services this link will allow you to search on your postcode to see what is around you.
Of course, only you know the level that this is affecting your mental health, and I trust you will reach out to your GP if needed.
I wish you and your husband all the very best, and that you continue to enjoy your camper van and your walks.
Liz
Macmillan Cancer Information and Support Advisor
