Dealing with cancer (3 weeks post op bowel cancer) and Relationship Breakdown

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Now how do I deal with my emotions regarding the breakup of my relationship and also having to deal with the emotions of cancer, I have no family and only a couple of friends that seem to be pulling away and sadly have their own issues, I feel alone every night and every day, I tried to do things like going out talking to people,  I've tried doing the things that I enjoyed before cancer diagnosis and I'll get frustrated because I can't focus on anything, I've spoken to different helplines I've spoken to my care team the doctor and nothing seems to help, as soon as I've stopped talking to somebody or put the phone down or I'm on my way home the Loneliness starts to affect me again. Sadly I have had to use 111 crisis team two or three times and that scares me but the overwhelming emotions just want to take over all the time, 

I've managed to speak to the doctor and he has increased my mental health medication slightly to hopefully help, and although I've agreed and fingers crossed this works to ease my head is still doesn't take away the pain the confusion and also the fact that I'm now completely on my own having to deal with this myself.

I've got my appointment on the 16th December to talk about my results from the Lab and to discuss any further treatment in going forward from now,  I am absolutely petrified what they will say on the day all I keep thinking is the worst and I can't stop, I've spoken to the team at the hospital that support me and they have told me that everything will be okay and try not to worry.

Has anybody else been in this situation where they feel their life has just fallen apart. And how did you manage to come through it sorry for the rambling and the long message

  • Hi  ,

    I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling, particularly how lonely you are after your relationship break up and without the support you feel you need from family and friends.

    It’s positive that you are talking to helplines and that you’ve consulted your medical team on what further support they can give. I hope the change in medication does help as you are hoping that it does.

    It’s distressing that you have had to call 111 for crisis mental health support, and you are absolutely right to do that if you feel you need that urgent support. I wonder, though, whether you can ask about more regular and ongoing support for your mental health? You could perhaps ask your hospital team or GP for a referral for counselling or other talking therapies.

    You might also like to find your local cancer support centre to find out if there are groups or befriending services local to you.  You can search for this using your postcode on Cancer Care Map.

    Going through a cancer diagnosis can be a really challenging time, especially those periods when you are waiting to hear about results from tests. It is normal to imagine all sorts of outcomes in that situation because you just don’t know what to expect. At the very least, it can be helpful to talk to someone. Here at Macmillan we have our support line there 8am until 8pm every day including on Christmas and New Year.  You can call us on 0808 808 0000 or via online chat on the Macmillan website. 

    While you have posted your query on our Ask an Expert section of the Online Community, you may find it helpful to go to discussions or groups on the community such as by cancer type or experience. There’s even a group that’s there during the night if you’re awake and worrying then. You can find further information about that here

    You should also be aware that the Samaritans are there 24/7 on 116123 if you need to talk at any time, as they will be there to listen.

    You could think about signing up for a Macmillan Buddy to be matched with someone for a weekly phone call. Further information and how to sign up are included in this link - Get Support from Macmillan Buddies

    This booklet - How are you feeling? – talks about the emotions you may be feeling and suggests ways to cope.

    I hope these suggestions are helpful and please keep in touch with us here at Macmillan for support as you deal with the difficult time you are having.

    Take care,

    Marie, Information and Support Adviser

    Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.