Feel depressed and alone

 Stacey 

Thank you for reaching out to the Macmillan online community.

I am so sorry to hear that you have had breast cancer:  I can't imagine how difficult this must have been.  Of course it is good news that it was caught early and you had your treatment.  We understand that at times such as this, emotional recovery can take some time, this of course includes any anxiety that can be brought about by "every little illness"

It is good to hear that you are talking to "loved ones", but, if you feel talking to a stranger is a good option for you, please feel you can call the Support Line on 0808 808 0000 between 8am and 8pm on any day. 

You mention your partner not being understanding Stacey I am so sorry to hear this, it must be so difficult to not have this level of support.  I appreciate this option is not the same as chatting to a loved one, but Breast Cancer Now have a Someone Like Me scheme.  They will try and match you with a trained volunteer who's had a similar experience as you. "Because there is nothing like finding someone who really understands".  They can answer your questions, or just listen: perhaps it may help in a small way with you feeling of being alone.

 Stacey  It is also common to have mixed feelings after cancer treatment, and it's understandable that you reflect upon the experiences of others, please remember that everyone has their own experience, and yours is as valid and important as anyone elses.  It's normal to have days when you feel sad, anxious or uncertain about the future. Or you may feel less positive about your health. You may also feel tired from dealing with your emotions.

Many people find it hard at first not meeting with their cancer team as often. It is important to remember that you can contact them if you need to.

The time after treatment is a period of change. You are finding out what is now normal for you. Some people call this their ‘new normal’. You need time to find out and adjust to what this means for you. You may be thinking about getting back to the things you did before treatment. For example, this could include:

going back to work or education
doing hobbies or exercise again
spending more time with family or friends.

Try not to expect too much of yourself too soon. Recovery is a gradual process and can have ups and downs. Some days you may feel better than others. You will need time to recover your physical strength.

You will also have to process what you have been through. Sometimes emotional recovery can take longer than physical recovery. But things should improve with time and the right support.

 Stacey  you may find these two booklets helpful Life after cancer treatment and Your feelings after cancer treatment  these links will offer you a downloadable PDF, but, if you wish to have a hard copy you may order them Here.

You can also talk to your GP about anything that is worrying you and your feelings of depression.  You could also visit a local cancer well-being and information centre.  Some cancer centres and organisations run short courses for people living with or after cancer. Your specialist nurse, cancer doctor or information centre may be able to give you information about courses in your area. One option is Help to Overcome Problems Effectively (HOPE) this is a course to help people after cancer treatment. It was developed by Hope for the Community and Macmillan Cancer Support. This course is run in small groups. It is free and takes place at different locations across the UK.

Macmillan also delivers an online HOPE programme, which is a 6-week self-management course based on an online platform. You can learn more and book onto an online HOPE course. 

 Stacey  as this is a public forum, you are very welcome to read the experiences of others in a similar situation.   You may also wish to chat to other patients in the same situation via our Life after cancer forum you may find sharing your experience with others helpful to understand you are not alone with your feelings of losing your joy.

We don't like to overwhelm people with options, but, here is a new one:  Odyssey this organisation helps patients living with, and recovering from cancer as it can be overwhelming.  This charity are here to help you make sense of it all and support you to rebuild your confidence and self esteem.  

 Stacey   I hope these suggestions are helpful, and please feel you can come back to us if you wish.

Take care and best wishes

Thank you so much for responding to me, I will look into all the suggestions you have made. It will be nice to make some friends as all mine seem to have disappeared and family think I should be over this now all the treatment is finished. I will be on hormone treatment for at least 5 years so have to get used to that, as well as all the other tablets the dr has prescribed,  nerve blockers that I have been on for years and thyroid tablets , and now cholesterol tablets and vitamin d ones as well, I feel like I take so many tablets I rattle when I walk lol. As someone who doesn't like taking tablets this has taken some getting used to. 

It's just good to feel like there is someone there who cares. Thank you x