Husband diagnosed with Cancer with Unknown Primary - told only months left - what do I do????

Dear Nerakano, 

Thank you for posting on the Macmillan Community, my name is Marie and I’m a Support Advisor here at Macmillan.  I’m so very sorry to hear about your husband's prognosis, what a shock this must have been for you both so I'm not surprised to hear you say you feel like your whole world has crumbled. Hearing your husband may only have months left to live is devastating so it's completely understandable you are looking for advice on how to handle this. 

I'm so glad you know we are here at Macmillan and that you've reached out for support, as trying to process news like this can be so deeply personal that there is no right or wrong way to approach this. Please know that as well as having the online community, we also have our Support Line where you can call to talk through how you’re feeling and access emotional support, especially when you say you're screaming inside. If this is something you'd like to do then please know we’re here every single day from 8am to 8pm - you can talk to us by calling 0808 808 0000 or by chat if you prefer.  Some people also find it helpful to chat with others who may be going through a similar experience, with similar thoughts and feelings so if this is something you might find helpful we also have our family and friends forum where you can do this too. And if you prefer talking to someone in person, there are cancer support centres and groups around the country.  You can find your closest ones by inputting your postcode to the Macmillan In Your Area search.  I hope this brings some reassurance that you don't have to go through this alone Nerakano. 

It can often be the case when we know a loved one has an incurable illness and a short timeframe of months to live to start to feel something like grief even though they are still with us.  It might be worth having a look at some resources which talk about that, including Anticipatory grief (Cruse Bereavement Care) and Anticipatory grief (Marie Curie).  You may recognise some of the emotions you are feeling and understand why this is the case and that it is to be expected at this very difficult time. 

I really hope this information helps as you try to process this sad news Nerakano.  Please do get back in touch whenever you need to - we're here to support you in any way we can.

Take care,