- 5 weeks ago I finished 5 weeks x 5 days a week radiotherapy and oral chemo. I'm going for a scan 28th oct to check if cancer has shrunk enough to operate, remove cancer and part of bowel then have stoma fitted, I was coping in the beginning but I'm now struggling I lost my dad to cancer 33 years ago. My auntie last Christmas and my cousin is dying from it. I'm so scared and crying at nothing. Always feeling like I want to end it but can't leave my 3 year old dog alone (he's keeping me going) but I'm scared I'm gonna die on the operating table or I'll get secondary cancer when the op is over. I've just been to the drs today and signed off work and given anti depressants. I'm so low x