Really Struggling.

Dear Gary1957,

Thank you for contacting us. I'm really sorry to hear that you are struggling with your wife and the impact that being a carer is having on your lives. I do understand how difficult a change in dynamics like this can be so I hope I can make some useful suggestions which may help you get the relevant help and support in place. This support may then alleviate some of the issues you describe, such as losing your patience and raising your voice, which can often be a result of the frustration you feel about the situation.

Firstly, I wonder if you have spoken to your GP about your current situation and how you are feeling as they can make the necessary referrals for support? Firstly, to the palliative care team, who specialise in pain and symptom management as well as offering emotional support and helping to co-ordinate care. The Macmillan nurses are usually palliative nurses who work in this team – we fund these nurses' training and posts which is why they bear our name, however they are actually employed by the NHS and work on a referral basis.

The second referral is to adult social services, who can carry out a needs assessment and a carers assessment, to see the type of support that you and your wife may benefit from, such as personal care, equipment or home adaptations. You can self-refer via the link below however sometimes this care can be arranged more quickly if the referral comes from a medical professional such as the GP–

Gov.uk   Needs   Assessment

Adapting to a caring role can be so difficult and isolating, so please know that there are carers organisations you can contact for support and to connect with others who are in a similar situation if you feel this would be useful:

Carers  Trust

Carers  UK

I really hope this information is helpful Gary1957. And please remember we are here for emotional support too as we understand how difficult a situation like this can be so please do get back in touch if you have any questions or need further support.

Take care,