My 11 year old daughter is quite an anxious child, she has started a new secondary and is hating it. She has been extremely emotional crying on the coach to school, at school and at night times. She won’t sleep and I am exhausted trying to reassure her. It is too much for me and I feel like I am failing her and being selfish for getting so annoyed at her for being so needy. Pleas help me!!
I’m sorry to hear that your daughters father has been diagnosed with cancer. That must have been such a shock to hear and so hard to process. Coping with the news that a loved one has cancer is such a difficult and emotional time and can feel one of the hardest things to be faced with. I’m really glad you have got in touch.
I appreciate that you have reached out today for support for your daughter, but, may I ask, how have you been coping? Do you have plenty of support around you? Please know we are here on the Macmillan Support Line as a place you can contact to talk through how you’re feeling and access emotional support. We are here every day of the week from 8 am-8 pm on: 0808 808 0000 or via web chat. Do keep in touch as much as needed-we don’t want you to feel you have to cope with this news, and your concern for your daughter, on your own.
I am sorry you feel you are failing your daughter, it sounds as though you have such a lot to think about, and perhaps life is overwhelming right now. It’s understandable that you feel the need of additional support. May I ask Zara24 have you had a chance to reach out to your daughters school? I am wondering if they have an emotional support team who are well placed to support her at this very anxious time? I am also wondering if chatting with her GP is an option for you? Her GP will have the best understanding of local services, and perhaps can help to support her school via Social Services. Sometimes the support of a team of people can take the pressure from you, and hopefully your daughter will feel she has lot's of support around her.
I have some options for support, that you may find helpful – both for your daughter, and for you as well.
Just thinking of your daughters anxiety and perhaps anger, Young Minds is an option: they will also support you, on the phone and via webchat. The service is free and confidential.
You mention support at night. You may like to look at the services of The Mix. They offer support to young people via webchat up to 9.30pm, but via text for urgent support 24 hrs every day. Text THEMIX 85258.
As you mention "after dad diagnosed" you may feel something that’s cancer specific is helpful. You may wish to explore Hope Support. They are a registered charity helping young people aged 5 to 25 when a loved one has a serious illness.
Zara24 I am wondering if you are getting any support from your daughter’s father. Perhaps, with the right support, he may feel he can help. The Fruitfly Collective helps parents with cancer to support their children, indeed they help the whole family.
Sometimes a face to face option is welcome, and you are welcome to call into your local Macmillan or Non Macmillan cancer centre. This Link will help you find local emotional support, just by popping your postcode in. Perhaps it’s something you would like to do with your daughter.
I don't wish to overwhelm you with too many options, as you can always come back to us.
I do hope this information is helpful. Please do just get back in touch if you need any further support or have any questions at all.
Take care,
Liz
Macmillan Cancer Information and Support Advisor
