Advise for my dads health

1 reply
12 subscribers
119 views

Hello,

I'm not really sure if this is the best way to go about it, but It's got to the point where my dad may need extra support.

He was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer towards the end of last year, In June the eye doctor mentioned that he had bells palsy due to the side of his face had dropped. July he was then diagnosed with a brain tumor in his brain stem which has recently taken for the worse, he struggles with his balance, speech, eating and blinking. Yesterday he had an operation on his lower eyelid due to an infection which now means he can only see in one eye.

He's a very proud/stubborn man who has refused all types of treatment but I feel it's getting to the point where we need some extra support. He really only has myself(son) and his daughter to help him. He lives on his own and enjoys his own company so it's hard having that conversation about extra support with him.

If anyone has any suggestions please help.

Thanks

Katie - Macmillan 25 days ago

Hello White Dove

I’m sorry to hear about your dad’s cancer diagnosis, it sounds like he has such a lot going on with his health and I hope his operation went well.

You mention dad’s struggles with balance, speech, eating and blinking, does he have any support at all? How is dad managing to navigate around his home, manage personal care for example?

It can be hard when you see someone in need of support at home when they have refused all types of treatment and support. It may be that he is struggling to accept that his health is deteriorating and that help may be needed especially if he is an independent person and enjoys his own company. In situations like this I would encourage gentle conversations, encouragement and reassurance around this being something to help him stay independent and do things within his own limits. If after having the conversation with dad and he seems open to support this can be arranged through the following ways -

Contacting his GP for a referral to occupational therapy support for equipment within his home and ways to stay independent. Occupational Therapy.

Contacting his local authority social services for help with personal care, equipment and practical help within his own surroundings. Here is the link to find support in his area - Local social services.

I would encourage looking at guidance around talking about cancer and opening up conversations around support and talking about how he is feeling. Here is a link to some guidance, which I feel would be helpful -

Talking about cancer

How are you feeling, the emotional impact of cancer.

Supporting someone with cancer

White Dove how are you feeling about everything? We’re here if it would help to talk more about this. You can call in on 0808 808 00 00 (7 days a week, 8am – 8pm), web chat or email if you’d prefer. We also have an online forum for family and friends where you can share your feelings and get support.

Take care,

Katie, Information and Support Adviser

Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.

Disclaimer

Advise for my dads health