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Can not get my head back in the game at work

Lin08
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I had diagnoses of cervical cancer 12 months ago and had a radical hysterectomy. I only took 4 months off work as I felt guilty about not being at work. I have been back in work now for a few months, however I just can not cope. 

I can't concentrate, I am exhausted and fatigued. Suffering with terrible headaches and I feel really unhappy with my job. I used to love what I did but now I am feeling resentful that I am there and not getting time to care for myself. 

All I want is time to care for me, get some rest, some time to heal and reflect. How do I find a balance between having to get on with life and deal with grieving for the person I used to be?  Everything about me has changed since the diagnoses, my thoughts, my body, my attitude. I just cant balance it all. I am grateful that the treatment worked and all I have to do is have regular check ups now, however I am resentful that it could have been a worse outcome and I might not of had the opportunity to do all the things I have always dreamed of doing. This is making it hard to be in work as I want to fill the need I have of living and experiencing everything, however I am so tied down by work and family responsibilities that I feel trapped. How do I overcome this feeling, how do I move on and learn to accept this version of me?

  • Hello Lin08 and thank you for contacting the Online Community.

    I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling after your diagnosis and surgery. You’ve been through such an awful lot it’s no wonder you feel the way you do just now. The emotional and physical impact of what you’ve experienced is clearly taking its toll so I’m glad you’ve reached out.

    Is your cancer team or GP aware of how much you’re struggling? It might be worth making them aware if you haven’t already in case there’s something they can put in place that may help Lin08. We also have a team of Cancer Specialist Nurses here on our support line who can speak to you about the clinical side of things such as the fatigue you mentioned. We also have a publication called Coping With Fatigue that you might find helpful.

    Our Work Support Team can speak to you about your rights at work as a person living with cancer and talk to you about things like reasonable adjustments and how to approach things with your employer. Our publication Work and cancer talks about how cancer and its treatments can affect your ability to work. It covers employment rights and coping with the effects of treatment at work, for example, tiredness, as well as providing tips on talking about cancer in the workplace.

    Have you spoken to others who have gone through something similar Lin08? Our Life After Cancer forum is for cancer survivors and people who have finished treatment. It is a space to discuss things like the physical and emotional after-effects of cancer, returning to work, or trying to move on with your life. We also have a Cervical Cancer forum too.

    Our publication Your Feelings After Cancer Treatment  looks at the emotional effects of cancer after treatment has ended. It includes information about getting support, coping with your feelings, and dealing with relationship changes.

    Do you talk to anyone close to you about what you’ve been through and how you’re feeling Lin08? Talking about things can make you feel supported. It can also help you make decisions that are right for you. If you feel that talking to someone you don’t know might be helpful, you’d be more than welcome to contact our support line. You can call in on 0808 808 00 00 (7 days a week, 8am – 8pm), web chat or email if you’d prefer.

    We also have a partnership with BUPA who can perform an 'emotional wellbeing assessment' just to better understand what kind of emotional support might be helpful. One of the possible outcomes from this is a short series of counselling sessions which would be by phone/video chat. You can find out more and refer yourself here.

    I hope this has been helpful Lin08. Take care and you know where we are.

    Alex, Information and Support Adviser

    Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.

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