Hospice help

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Hi just looking for a bit of advice, my best friend was diagnosed 6 weeks ago and unfortunately there’s nothing that can be done. She was in hospital but was moved to a hospice 3 weeks ago, she has been so calm throughout this whole diagnosis and for someone who suffers with bipolar she’s been amazing. Her weight loss is very evident now she’s not eaten properly for about 7 weeks, she’s sipping on fluids but only about 2-3 cup full a day at most. She’s obviously completely bedbound and now sadly it’s just a waiting game. On diagnosis the doctor said it’s just a matter of weeks. Last week the hospice started asking her to go into a nursing home, this has caused her so much distress to the point that she has now been given anti anxiety tablets as it’s affected her that much. She’s settled where she is and obviously doesn’t want to be moved. Last week one of the nurses told her that there’s 8 people waiting for her bed and for all she knows it could be one of her family! I don’t know how anyone else feels about this comment but we are all shocked about it, she’s end of life care! They are asking her every day about a nursing home and this thought is now dominating her day. My question is can they force her to go into a nursing home?

  • Hello Clare and thank you for contacting the online community.

     I’m so sorry to hear about your friend, things sound to have happened very quickly. It’s such a shame that she’s has been put in this situation when she’s going through end-of-life care. It sounds like the hospice have not handled this in the best way which is disappointing. You can find out how to make a complaint on the Hospice UK website.

     I can’t answer your question about whether or not your friend can be forced to go into a nursing home I’m afraid but I would suggest you speak to the Care Quality Commission (CQC) who is the independent regulator of health and social care in England. You can contact them via their website or call them on 03000 616161.

     We also have a team of cancer specialist nurses here on our website if you have any clinical questions you’d like to ask about end-of-life care for your friend and what she’s going through.

     I appreciate this must be a difficult time Clare. It’s never easy seeing someone you care about go through this. We’re here to support you and anyone affected by what’s happening so please stay in touch if it helps to talk or if you have any further questions.


    Take care.

    Alex, Information and Support Adviser

    Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.