Toilet issues

Hello WeeG 

Thank you for contacting us on the Online Community.

Not a silly question at all. I am sorry to hear that Dad has now been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer after having gone through treatment for prostate cancer. It sounds like a lot to go through and a worrying time with Dad seeming so fragile and Mum so stressed. I am really glad you have got in touch.

May I check WeeG firstly, does Dad’s cancer team or GP know about the difficulties he’s experiencing with confusion and this impacting using the toilet? If not, do speak to them so they are aware and can be looking at supporting Dad with this. If you have, but the worsening has occurred since, do update them as it’s important they know about any changes.

The Living Made Easy website and helpline sound as if they could be a helpful resource just now: they provide impartial advice on daily living equipment and so may be able to suggest helpful products to help keep the toilet seat up.

With things sounding stressful for Mum to cope with, it also sounds as if it could be helpful to speak with the local Adult Social Care Team for two reasons: on one hand they could carry out a Carer’s Assessment for Mum to explore support needed to help things feel more manageable and supported. Additionally, they can carry out Needs Assessment for Dad if you feel his illness is impacting his ability to manage day to day things, and he would benefit from practical support. They could explore what equipment, support such as carers, or modifications may be helpful. To contact  the local team, use the GOV.UK search tool to access their contact details or you could speak with the GP if you’d like support being referred.

Our booklet, Looking After Someone With Cancer has lots of information on the support which can be put in place to help support someone who has a diagnosis, as well as looking after yourself as a carer, and so too may be useful to read through and maybe pass on to Mum.

For additional support (if it would feel helpful to reach out and connect with others who are coping with a similar diagnosis or experience to ask questions), you may wish to join our Prostate Cancer, Pancreatic Cancer and or Family and Friend’s Forums on the Community.

I realise you have got in touch with a specific question today WeeG , but as I mentioned, sounds as if you have been going through a lot as a family and so feels important to check in with how you are? Do you have support around you? Please know the Macmillan Support Line is here every day 8am-8pm on:0808 808 00 00 as a place you and your family can call for emotional support or for help with any general cancer-related questions. You can also connect with us via web chat if preferred.

I hope the information we’ve talked through today is helpful but please do just let us know if you need any further support.