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i recently found out my dad has terminal cancer. I let myself cry but I feel lost and don’t know how to react or say at times. I can’t get myself to say aloud that he’s dying and  I’m not sure if it’s the feeling of if I say it it’s more real. my dad also has dementia which doesn’t help as he says he’s in pain and know he’s not feel but forgets he got cancer and recently doesn’t remember his loved ones (me ) 

any initial support will be good 

  • Thank you for posting your message. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad’s terminal diagnosis and all that he’s dealing with. I can only imagine how difficult it is to come to terms with how you are feeling.  

    Has your dad been assigned a Macmillan nurse or other palliative care?  Macmillan nurses are assigned through a referral from a GP or consultant. We fund their training and post, but they are employed by the NHS. Their role is pain and symptom management and psychological support. Sometimes the nurses are called palliative care nurses or hospice nurses, if we aren’t funding them, but they do the same job.

    The Macmillan Support line is there every day from 8am until 8pm on 0808 808 0000 and we can provide emotional support and listen.  There are also nurses on the support line for any medical queries and teams that help with any impact on finances and work.   If you feel more comfortable, you can also contact any of our teams on online chat.

    Macmillan produces some booklets that you may find helpful.  These include Cancer and relationships which talks about how you may be feeling when a loved one has a cancer diagnosis, and Cancer and dementia: a guide for carers.

    There are also other ways to look for support.  You may find it useful to have a look elsewhere on the online community as there may be groups or discussions with family members that you may want to join.

    Of if you prefer face to face support, you can find out what’s local to you by inputting your postcode into the In Your Area search.

    Hopefully you will be able to find the support that feels best for you, and in the meantime take care.

    Yvonne, Information and Support Adviser

    Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.