Advice

  • 2 replies
  • 13 subscribers
  • 449 views

Hello

My children who are 17 and 21 lost their mother last Saturday to lung Cancer. The amazing palliative care team has put in place some bereavement support when they are ready. But I am concerned about my approach to this with my children, how should I support my kids with this. It’s just so sad and overwhelming. My children loved their mother so much.

  •   

    Thank you for contacting Macmillan at such a sad time.  

    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your children’s mother; I would imagine this is such a hard time for you all.  I am pleased to hear that you have an amazing Palliative Care team: we are here to support you along side this team. 

    It’s understandable that times such as this are overwhelming.  May I take a moment to ask, how are you?  I hope you feel we are here for you as well, so please don’t hesitate to reach out if you would like to.  In fact the options I have in mind for your children, you are also welcome to access for yourself.

    You are wondering “how should I support my kids through this?” Here at Macmillan we offer a listening ear to cancer patients and their loved ones looking for emotional support.  The three of you are welcome to contact us by phone, web chat or email to our Support Line.  We open between 8am and 8pm on any day.   I will pop a link here which you may like to share with your children, it gives all the options to reach out for emotional support.

    Macmillan Emotional Support Options

    Below is another link you may like to look at yourself, but also share with your children.  Have a look at the options that you feel are best.  There are suggestions that may help you, to find the words, to support your children’s sadness, as well as helping them to create memories of their mum: many people find this comforting.   

    Behind some of the "boxes" there are booklets you may like to download or order.  Sometimes these are helpful as you can open and read them whenever you wish.

    Macmillan Bereavement Support

     You may also like to consider a different level of Bereavement Support from Marie Curie? 

    This link gives details on how to support someone who is grieving.  I feel this will be helpful in terms of how to talk to the children and help them to take each day at a time.

    Marie Curie: Supporting someone who is grieving

    Perhaps you would like further options of grief support, including the number for the Marie Curie Bereavement Support Advisors.

    Marie Curie: Support when someone passes

        I am mindful to not overwhelm you at a time that is incredibly sad.  You are always welcome to reply to this post if you would like further support.

    I wish you and your children all the very best, and please don't hesitate to reach out again; we are here for you.

    Best wishes

    Liz

    Macmillan Cancer Information and Support Advisor

  • Dear Liz

    i am so grateful for you reply and compassion.  I am up and down, but taking the time to look after myself by going swimming and making sure we do the basics like eating properly and at least trying to sleep as and when we need. I appreciate this is going to take time and space. Thank you so much Liz for the links, I will definitely take a look . It means so so much to know someone is there. 


    Bless you Liz I will log on again soon.

    Thank you

    Jim