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Recent diagnosis

Cuddly64
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Please help, my 87yr mum who has been battling cancer for the last 25yrs has more or less made the decision for no more treatment,  she has been given 3-6 month's but she has outlived every prediction so far.  I have been mum's carer, been to every appointment/treatment/and dealt with every minor and major issues in her life since we lost poor dad over 5 yrs ago,  I'm finding guilt that I'm not doing enough, and now finding emotional support at a all time low at the moment,  I understand everything she is going through but obviously she feels depressed now, (only happened yesterday) am I wrong to give her some space at the moment? I have my own family to fit in around this situation as well,  I feel I don't know what to do for me or how to cope with mum ?  Thank you

  • Hello @Cuddly64

    Thank you for getting in touch with us. I’m sorry to hear about your Mum, and about what has been happening for you. I can see that it’s been an emotional time for both you and your Mum and lots of different feelings have been coming up. It’s quite natural and understandable for feelings like guilt to surface, particularly when you are caring for a loved one Cuddly64. I’m sure you are doing everything that you can to support her. I don’t think you’re wrong to give her some space if you feel that is what she needs, I can appreciate you may have to do this as your well-being is equally as important as hers.

    Our booklet, ‘Looking After Someone with Cancer’ may be useful in providing guidance about how you can best support her and your own needs as a carer too. You can view it here.

    You’d be welcome to get in touch with us on our freephone support line 0808 808 00 00 or our online webchat service in addition to using the online community. Both are open 8am – 8pm seven days a week. We’d be happy to talk things through and provide a space for you to express how you are feeling. We’ll also look to provide any guidance we can, and we have several teams available to speak with depending on your needs.

    Please stay in touch with us in any of the above ways Cuddly64.

    David, Information and Support Adviser

    Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.

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