Hi everyone its been a long time since I last blogged but today feels like a good day. Ive caught up with site news and am so glad to see that some of you have happy news to share. Im afraid i'm not quite ready to be of much use to any of you and still really struggle with this horrible new life I am forced to live. Please know that though I don't comment you are all very much in my thoughts. Its been 3 1/2 months since Joe died and not a single minute of the day passes when I don't think about him. Im trying to put all the love I have for him to good use and have set up a charitable fund called Joel's Wish. We support the Severn Hospice in Shrewsbury and are funding equipment (so far 4 handheld video cameras) for patients and their families and contributing directly to patient care. I'm also planning to use a portion of funds to directly benefit young people with cancer and hope to be able to gift modest sums to patients aged 19-30 to pay for special days out. If you would like to know more about Joel's Wish we are on Facebook and will shortly have our own website.
Joe insisted that I should go back to uni and finish my nurse training so, next week, I go back. Don't know if Im ready but I guess theres only one way to find out. Ive got 6 months left to complete so hopefully I'll be able to hold it together for long enough. The District Nurses who were visiting Joe at home have offered me a job when I qualify and I have big plans to change current protocols in my area to allow all patients to have i.v. fluids at home and at end-of-life if they so wish. Nobody should have to beg for the right to comfort and a few more days of life, as Joe did, simply because a policy doesnt exist.
For us, life goes on. When I knew that Joe was going to die I honestly didn't think I could live without him but he gave me my orders and i'm doing my best to fulfil them xxx
