Probably a stupid thing to say, but 'happy birthday' for tomorrow!

You sound snowed under. Is anybody looking out for you?? Everybody needs support, especially the supporters.

You will find a lot of emotional support here.

bext wishes

sucrose

xx

Hi,

Thanks so much for your kind message.

 Did feel overwhelmed last week as struggled for support. Hubby a lovely bloke but I think all this talk of cancer brought back memories of his mothers fight with breast cancer which she sadly lost 8 yrs ago. He went into a deep depression afterwards and still doesn't talk about it much.

I  had my hair cut at the hairdressers and rallied my mates who have been wonderful.

My sister and her husband live round the corner from mum ( a 45 mile drive away from me) and his way of dealing with his cancer is by only telling a handful of people on the day he had his op, including his grown up children who were very upset (but don't feel they could talk to him about it because he's ill but gave my sister a load of grief) , and by not refering to it as cancer but calling it a tumour.

That's up to him really but he's been encouraging my mum to treat her cancer in the same way, Mum has admitted that although it was difficult to start and she cried everytime she told someone, she actually felt better afterwards. He's also advising her not to tell any of the family but she gets on really well with them and I feel that they could be a great area of support for her.

I even had to sneak some info on macmillan care and the phone number for her to ring if she wants someone to talk to into her bag under G's (brother in law) disaproving gaze!!!!

Thanks for the birthday wishes. Hoping to have a bit of a lie in tomorrow before taking my sister to the burns clinic then me, my sister and mum going for afternoon tea. May also be able to have a  sneaky take away from my favourite Indian in the evening if i'm a very lucky girl, hehe,

How long have you been using the site (if that's not too personal a question?)

Thanks again,

Ali xx

Hi Ali.

I think I've been using this site for about a month or a little more but it has really made a big difference to me. Wish I'd done it sooner when my husband had his tonsil cancer. As far as we can tell, he's ok now but doesn't like to remember that time which coincided with his mother's death from cancer...Understandably!

My dad died of prostate cancer last November & my dad-in-law has the same so we have been surrounded by this horrible disease for a while. Your life at the moment sounds very emotionally draining as well as physically tiring.

We are in the position of watching dad-in-law get weaker & weaker while not knowing how long this will go on for. He's miserable, poor soul, despite his 4 carers a day, one through the night, and my husband and his brother and sister doing all they can. We live closest, not in the same town but a 20 minute drive away: far enough when it's an emergency, and we've had plenty of those.

Anyway, I hope you get your takeaway: in my book, you need to remember to look after yourself before you can look after anybody else, so that means as many treats as possible! It's all good for the soul...

My recently-widowed mum sounds like your bro-in-law: she doesn't like people to know her business and would run a mile from counselling of selfhelp groups.Me, I have no pride and am the total opposite. It takes all sorts, doesn't it.

Use this site as a safe place to rant & complain: it's amazing the difference a guilt-free grumble can make when it all gets too much.

Lots of love,

Susan xxx