Every day is a struggle, today was no exception. The day started off ok, sun was shining, I had managed to sleep more than four hours, yay. Went for a nice walk, had brekkie . . . . . . . Started pottering around the house, as i do then all went downhill ! knocked my funny bone-which wasnt funny, stubbed my toe, then to top it off I dropped a shelf on my foot!ouch!! A lot of swelling and brusing but luckily no breaks, At the time, yeah it hurt, but I carried on 'pottering', then I started 'seein stars' , sat down for a while with a cuppa, then got it looked at. Feeling a little sorry for myself but not admitting it I went home, put my throbbing foot up.
Then 'our' song came on the radio and all of a suddden the tears started, went on for bout 40 mins.
You see even though I admitted it hurting a little, I didnt make too much fuss, its just dawning on me why I got upset- its not that i'm a wuss. its the fact that I had to go find someone to help me, I had to drive myself to a relatives house. That song just triggered the fact that I was on my own, I had hurt myself and I was alone.
Since losing my husband suddenly my emotions have been all over the place. Some days better than others. Sometimes having a quiet home to escape to can be relaxing, other times its lonely, you try and keep occupied,but then it just creeps up on you and smacks you in the face -usually when you could really do with the company. a cuddle.A chat.or even a sarky comment!!anything. I miss him so much. :' (
