That's literally the type of day I had yesterday. Yesterday was the first day I got back to driving my car. I had an axillary node clearance and with swelling, fluid retention etc. I found my arm movement very restricted. However, with lots of physio and believe it or not a real old fashioned method of wearing a large tubi-grip around my chest area to compress the area and stop the swelling, I got to a really good place where my arm movement improved so much I can drive again....yipee and happy days. I have so missed the freedom of driving my car. I last drove it properly the day before my surgery way back in July and since then have relied on lifts. Living in a rural area I really missed the freedom on jumping in the car and heading anywhere I wanted. But its been worth the wait....so enjoying a simple thing like driving again.
On the flip side having a rough time with the mouth sores at the moment. Thrush in my mouth and mouth ulcers. Also the tip of my tongue is really sore and the pallet of my mouth feels like I've drank a cup of hot scalding tea. Luckily I had some meal replacement drinks from the doctor so at least I'm getting my nutrition even if I'm finding it physically hard to eat. Had great plans for a meal out with my other half before my next chemo session but thats knocked on the head now. It really is about taking each day as it comes and not planning too far ahead. But hopefully this too will pass.
And amid all the chaos cancer brings I got to do my first big grocery shop since July (with help from my other half) , drove myself to my 3 appointments yesterday and my favorite bit was driving my two daughters into town for their respective nights out with friends,stayed around to pick them up, and got to hear all the excitement about what happened out on the journey home. Its lovely to see my two girls having fun and enjoying time with their friends. Its very hard on them having a Mam who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It brings up so much for them as young women and the obvious question being 'does that mean I'm more likely now to get breast cancer too'. They are at an age where they are growing as young women and what goes on in their lives right now can have such a huge impact on them. Watching their Mam having both her breasts removed has been tough but we talk very openly about it and they know it was a decision I had to make to make sure I don't go through breast cancer again.....well thats the plan anyway.
So normality reigns amid the chaos. I'll light the fire tonight and we'll settle down to our usual Saturday night tv of xfactor and Casualty. But I wouldn't change it for the world. Its the simple things, that I've done for ever, that suddenly mean so much to me. Once I have the energy to be with my family and children then I feel happy and fulfilled. I don't know what tomorrow will bring and I can't change it anyhow. All I can do is live in the moment and enjoy every day I feel good. Its a real life lesson in appreciating what we have yet can take for granted so easily.
