Few days off work.

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

6 Oct 2009

I arranged with my boss to have a few days off work to get used to my mums stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis. I have to admit to feeling like a bit of a fraud, mum seems okay just now and we had a great day together, just drinking tea. Was thinking about going back to work when I totally randomly burst into floods of tears. So thats why I need time off. I think i'm fine and then I'm not.

I'm supposed to be strong for my family. I'm usually the one who keeps the troops together. I'm the fixer. I feel so useless. I can't fix my mum. I can't fix how everyone is feeling. I can't seem to get myself together.

This won't do at all. We're going to concentrate on making smiles and laughs. I can cry into my pillow when my family can't see me. Right now I think I don't want them to have to cope with me too. My mum, in her usual amazing fashion, is remaining eternally positive (and possibly a little stoned from her meds...) so it really would be a cheek not to spend the next few days having fun. Just need to stop feeling sad.

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Deejema, wow your emotions are all

over the place at the moment, that's very

understandable, you are scared and you

are trying to be brave at the same time.Your mum knows how your feeling

right now, and she is trying to be brave

for you. take time to talk to your mum and

tell each other how you are feeling. This

is going to be a journey for both of you

and there will be times when you will feel

its getting to much, but you will help your

mum to fight this cancer.Be there for your mum, she will have good days and

bad days, but also look after yourself.You

cant carry all your family's troubles on your

back. Its always the ones that keep the

family going that ends up being ill for not

taking care of there own needs, and you

wont be much help to your mum if you get sick. Slow down, and enjoy the time you have off, you will benefit in the long

run by being strong to get your mum

thru the treatment she may have.

Sending you both big hugs. PM me any

time you need to talk, i cant promise you

i will have all the answers, but i am a good listener.

Much Love Lucylee. XXXX
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