Head lifter

2 minute read time.

27 Jul 2025

Please accept my apologies' if i get this wrong , But as you will see i do not fair well when it comes to anything "Computer".

Hello soaps' , I mean "Folks",

My name is Terrence, i am a 61 year old from south Shropshire, a few miles from the welsh border. I was diagnosed with CLL four years ago. My disease is progressing but stable and i am on watch and wait. However' I have a lot of complications caused through a life of hard, physical Out doors work, but as a hole i am no better or worse than any one else. But when comes to how i feel mentally , it is true that i have not done so well. Three suicide attempt's, self isolation , difficulty explaining myself and a whole raft of confusion and poor decision making, have taken a toll.

Anyway to get to the point, writing has been my only lifeboat. As a result , i have decided to write a short book for charity and would very much appreciate some feedback. Here are a few samples of some "Poems and Rhymes"

SMALL

The main man in White Hall , says that i am only small

as if i don't matter at all,

Well, i don't know if that is true, so i bought a ladder and now i am taller than you.

The WIFE DON'T LIKE IT...….

The wife said to me that my poems are glum, and in retrospect they are becoming a bit dumb.

Lighten up, was her plea, you are in a rut can't you see ?. But the reason i write these poems at all ,

is to help me cope with feeling small.

A change of direction must be my tack, i need to get on a more cheery track

Mr U 2 months ago

Keep it up and pour out your soul. It is a good way to keep afloat in the choppy seas of medical misery. I applaud and approve of your sentiments Terry.
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my name is terry 27 days ago

Hello one and all,
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my name is terry 27 days ago

Hello, i'm afraid that i am really not very good at this online stuff, i dont know why. I never used to be like this, i was always a fairly capable chap. When one is depressed it affects you in so many ways, there is nothing simple about it. I have been so down lately, it wouldn't be so bad if i had a good reason. Compared to others i have nothing really to complain about. It is true that i get a lot of infections, and as time moves on they become harder to control. i have been on antibiotics for about 2 years now, and i now have to rotate them. I am 61 and done hard physical work all my life, as a result i have compression of the lower spine which affects my legs. I always considered myself a fairly hard nosed sort, but i must say that the pain gets the better of me sometimes. I reasentlly had a turp operation but am still suffering with UTIs. I've always been an outdoors type and that has not changed, although i find i can no longer do what i could 4 or 5 years ago. All these things i have accepted, but the downer i get with no warning is the hardest of all. Is it normal to be fine one minute, and in less than 60 seconds i can be suicidal ? I was diagnosed with clinical depression some 4 years ago , and it has only gone from bad to worse since. i have attempted suicide 3 times, twice half hearted and once for real. It is hard to admit because i am deeply ashamed and disappointed in myself. I would like to give a big shout out to "Station Drive Surgery" without whom i would not be here now. Please take all this with a pinch of salt, because as i said, i am not hard done by. I am still writing my book which is coming along nicely, i am hopefully going to have it done by November. Yours Most Sincerely Terry
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