wibbly wobbly

1 minute read time.

Having a little sob on the phone last night with P and then chatting on phone with lovely Lynne cheered me up and I went to bed happier, and also didn't have an odd dream for a change. Well, actually, my dreams are ALWAYS vivid, but recently they have been bit gory too. I think the shock and the physical stuff/being manhandled etc is coming out..?

Anyhoo, woke up feeling a lot brighter this morning, can feel the little wibble just under the surface but am partly putting that down to the FULL MOON this evening, had a nice quiet day at work and as I am excited about CAB leaving the building soon ( I should explain that at some point!),  made a provisional plan in my head as to how I would rearrange the teams, rooms, etc! And during a quiet hour, I started planning Deri's birthday party, would it be Cantref farm, or a fairy party... having asked Deri this eve she DEFINITELY wants Cantref. Which has pros and cons. Pros = I don't have to do anything except turn up as its a playbarn on a farm, they do the food etc, kids don't need entertaining as they run about for 2 hours like loons. Cons = cost, and the shite food LOL! But as I may be exhausted still from chemo stuff, it seems it is the best option this year. :)

Spoke to mum earlier to thank her for the flan she gave us on weekend for tonight, said I'd emailed to explain why I was bit whatever I was on Sunday, she said straightaway she understands, it's a lot to deal with and just having the hickman hanging out of you every day must to stuff to you even if you're not consciously thinking about it! Bless her :) Two sleeps til chemo day. Washed my hair and lots came out. I wonder if there'll be nay left in morning to fluff up and spray and blowdry lol?!

Going to drink a big mug of tea now and hopefully have a quick natter with LouLou if all goes to plan... :)

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I would go for the farm option. A bit dearer, but worth it! Just think of all the hassle you'd be saving.

    We all have wobbly days, you wouldn't be human if you didn't, so don't be too hard on yourself.

    Hope the next chemo goes well and make sure you rest as much as possible.

    Always here for you. Take care, Christine xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I agree Christine, it's the best option this year!

    I know, I think I have been so focused on trying not to worry the kids that I've exhausted myself emotionally! And being on my own with them, they don't have anyone else immediately around every evening to 'bounce' off.

    Next round is on Wednesday, and thank you, you're a sweetheart!

    Love, Ems xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    No need for thanks Em, it's a pleasure believe me!

    You're so right, it's not always the physical exhaustion, but the mental exhaustion is just as severe. Wish I could help out.

    Let me know how it goes on Wednesday and afterwards, of course.

    Love, Christine xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi darling... You gotta stop blogging so late!!! Always too tired by now to say anything sensible...

    So just farm is good whether you are on chemo or not and your girls will be ok with that and you and it all etc so don't feel bad or worry about them and about any of it and glad your mum understood... And you get to eat sh*te on your birthday don't you?

    Big hug to you and don't know where you  get your energy from. I am knackered!!!

    Cwtches my cariad

    Little my xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Sending hugs. It must be so hard to balance cancer with being a mum. The farm sounds good to me, in fact I might enjoy it myself.

    Lots of love

    Hilary