Morning!
Well, yesterday all I did was drive to drop off my middle free-range-teen at the train station, and then pick her up again later. My youngest was picked up for ballet and taken to the milkshake bar thingy then back to her friend's, and my eldest was at her b/f's, so I practised what I have been preaching, and SAT ON THE SOFA ALL DAY *looks proud*
I watched Discovery channel - Animal Cops rescue and Monkey Life Sanctuary LOL! and bid for some shoes on ebay. Bliss ;) I only got twitchy once or twice and kept reminding myself that this is what my body needs so help get better, and it was nice for a change to just zone out and not use my brain very much!
This morning I am back to jabbing myself in the tummy again for 3 days leading up to chemo #4 (2b) and trying to stop myself thinking about the results of the PET which I haven't even had yet! It's next Tuesday and I'm hoping it's all going as planned!! Do any of you find yourselves imagining all the 'what-ifs' and going through all the possibilities?! I do try not to but now and then it creeps up on me and then I find myself doing that and have to shake myself out of it! I usually just have a word with the lumps and say 'yeh, you, buggering off now are you' and visualise myself lump-free etc ...
Today we are off for lunch at my mum's, tomorrow my mum and stepdad are painting the bathroom! It's been interesting because often when they helped out it was attached to a condition of some sort but since having cancer they are just offering unconditionally. I know our lifestyles differ and they way we keep houses differs and they can't understand festivals or ''weird'' music and taking my kids off to look at stone circles (did I hear someone shout ''hippy'' ?! lol) so they tried to help me a single mum but pull me into their way of doing stuff and that never worked so there were sometimes clashes.... but all that's gone now which leads me to think that some good shit is coming out of this cancer stuff too. Or is that just me? *grins*
And my poor friends... usually they have me chatty and bubbly for long periods of time and now it's in short bursts... oh, wait, maybe that's a GOOD thing for them? :P ... but sustaining a conversation is tricky these days even when you don't think you're feeling that tired, you realise you are actually quite knackered and can't keep up a chat which you were looking forward to. And that's quite annoying!
At work it's not too bad as everyone is busy so there only short snatches of chat and then the rest of the time I'm busy emailing, organising etc, or taking referrals, in person or on the phone. Some of these can take time, but because it's all about THEM and you're busy listening and planning what's best at same time, it seems to work out ok, and if I do feel drained afterwards I can go make a cuppa and chill out for a bit :)
I'd better go and get showered and dressed now then otherwise I'll be turning up for lunch in my pyjamas! Have a good day guys n gals and I'll catch up in a bit (wish me luck for my ebay shoes!)
Ems xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
