overwhelmed?

2 minute read time.

FormerMember

11 Sep 2011

A nice start to the day with a nice long bath, of course tucking the tubes up out of the way so they don't get wet, followed by only having to shout 4 times to get my 13 yr old out of the house so we could get to my mums for lunch, time being the essence today as they were off to Devon at about 4.

"you look pale and fraught" said my mum, more than once. I wasn't feeling fraught. But it got me thinking.

And I think all the help is getting to me! How odd does that sound? And perhaps ungrateful?? But I am used to my space and independence. And I AM appreciating all the help. She is planning on redecorating the girls bedrooms. It is overdue! And the bathroom, ditto.

But what is getting to me is how many times she phones, and how long she wants to talk for, often repeating herself. Now, I KNOW she is worried. I KNOW she wants to help. But talking in person knackers me out. Sometimes I do not want to talk, to anyone, or even HEAR other people talking! Does that sound odd? Anyway, I sent her an email, along the lines of what I said here....

""Thanks for lovely Sunday lunch, hope your visit goes well :) happy

I wasn't feeling fraught, but I did think about why you may have said that.

I think I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am used to lots of space and independence.

I am enjoying and appreciating the help from you and other mums etc, but, sometimes my brain is tired

and I don't want to talk or to hear people talking, or find it hard to concentrate! Does that sound odd?? I-) sleepy

Others I have spoken to say they found it the same whilst having chemo - things need to be kept simple and

you know when you can talk and when you can't and it seems rude to say to people, do you know, I can't really chat at the moment, try me again later/tomorrow, but I suppose you have to do it otherwise you get more tired?

So. To compensate fro the days when I'm not chatty, I thought of a plan to help us all.

When we decide what is best thing for you two to do to help on Wed mornings, let's write it down, me in my diary, you in yours, then we don't need to talk about it a lot unless it needs dates changing or something adding.

And, last but not least, THANK YOU

Lots of Love and cwtchs :-* kiss

Ems xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ""

I hope that sounds okay to them!!?!

P worked too long today to appreciate his night off so he's asleep on his sofa and I wanted to go drink coffee down the Bear so I'm sulking a bit now but that's what happened when you date someone who runs a hotel and restaurant!! I did say to the Universe that my next fella needed to have a job and work hard. HAH be careful what you wish for lol! ;) A new chef and new menu has meant a manic weekend, but I think he has Mon eve off , so hopefully, tomorrow evening shall be all ours!!

I am stuffing red grapes down me. I guess it balances out the chocolate I stuffed earlier!

A friend tells me a woman we know from our kids' primary school is also thinner and sporting a head scarf in our village ... blimey. I like her too, although that sounds silly. Anyway, maybe we'll do coffee over bald heads?

FormerMember over 13 years ago

I know what you mean about parents worrying, and driving you dotty. I eventually got so fed up of my dad asking if i was ok that I eventually snapped and said that I was ok and I would tell him if I wasn't. They always ring on a Saturday morning and I decided that if I was having a bad day I would say at the beginning of the conversation, then if I said something I shouldn't they would know it was me not them!

I know why you are in work....its being normal, not sick...I wasn't able to do that because working in a doctor's surgery is not good for keeping away from infections, and also because of complications. Do listen to your body though and don't overdo things. Priority is your health and your fantasic girls, after all none of us are indispensible. xxxx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Ann x
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

this chemo has a lot to answer for, think we all know were youre coming from.my mother called round on the one day i was really suffering and was more upset than when i told her about my condition.Mind you this is the woman who, after her son has driven for 21yrs, spent two winters driving in the cairncorms at -18 and in 8ft of snow, still rings to see if we got home all right after a 7 mile trip from her house...bless her.

hope all them red grapes you were guzzerling hadn't been squished and bottled first you tinker.

best wishes and big hugs joe x
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Stinker - you got it right there i think, good plan! Hmm, I see why your place of work wasn't the best environment, but you've got it right about trying to be normal as often as possible. :) And again, spot on about priorities... you're a bit wise ain't you? ;)

Ann ... much better today, still bit fragile but much improved from last night's sobbing :) xxxxx

Joe - friggin chemo! It's a bar steward for sure. Hah, mums eh? :) Dammit, I wish the grapes HAD been through all that first. Sorely tempted I was too last night, but I stuck to the fresh unsquashed variety! Hugs xxxx
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