The purpose of my blog is to share how I’ve used writing to help me cope with my cancer journey, in the hope that this may be of interest or help for someone else dealing with their own cancer journey, or perhaps supporting someone in this position. So, I thought I’d kick off my blog with a few thoughts around why I decided to write and how I feel it’s been helping me - at least some of the time!
I was diagnosed, at the age of 45, with stage 3 bowel cancer in July 2024, had successful surgery in September (which also included a full hysterectomy), and am now part way through chemotherapy. I can’t believe that I’m now 6 months along a journey which I know has many possible pathways still stretching ahead of me. My diagnosis completely turned my life upside down, split it into a ‘before’ and an ‘after’.
Once I emerged from the shock of the diagnosis, I knew that I needed to have some way of processing what I was going through. So, at first I really just wrote down all the crazy mixed up thoughts going around in my head and tried to deal with the utter fear that was constantly gnawing away at me. And this has been something I’ve carried on using writing for - particularly during some of my darkest days. But I as time went on, and the interminable periods of waiting stretched on, writing also became a positive way for me to find a focus and a purpose for myself in amongst it all.
Writing - just for myself initially and now taking the plunge in sharing with other cancer passengers on here - has been something which has meant lots of different things to me at different times. It’s helped me hold onto who I am as well as accept and cherish a new version of myself. It’s helped me in the daytime and the middle of the night. It’s helped me to unleash all the crappiness, but also to grasp tightly onto moments of joy.
Writing has been a concrete way that I’ve found to cope with all the ups and downs. It’s definitely not been a magic wand - it’s not solved all my problems or sorted everything out in my head! - but it has helped me to process my emotions and how this cancer journey is changing me. The anger, the frustration, the anxiety, the fear, they’re all still there along with the moments of hope and the love and support I am lucky enough to have around me. But I think my writing has me to not get lost in it all and to feel that I still have some control in some small way.
I’d love to connect with anyone else who has made writing a part of their coping strategies for their own cancer journey! And I’ll try share some more of my thoughts about how writing has and is helping me cope in the blog entries which follow. Maybe this might create a spark for someone else to try writing about their own unique experiences too!
