melanoma

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

16 Aug 2011

My name is Penny and my husband was diagnosed with malignant melanoma in April, he has had most of his left shoulder removed and an axillary clearance in his armpit done, he has now been told that the melanoma is in the lymph nodes in his neck and has to have a neck dissection done next week, this has really rocked us as a family, every thing is happening so fast. My job involves dealing with tissue samples in a histology lab so every operation that my husband has had comes to where i work, and it really freaks me out and haven't been able to work for a few weeks, i have found this online community really helpful and just knowing that what i am feeling is perfectly normal and that it is ok to be scared, but i do feel as though i am letting my husband down by being unable to face doing my job, i feel pathetic and useless. There that feels better sorry if i have rambled but i needed to get it off my chest.

FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Willow,

Of course its O/K to be scared you wouldnt be human if you wernt. Just remember you are letting no one down least of all your Husband. As for feeling pathetic and useless. sorry you are not allowed those type of feelings on this site. So give yourself a good kick up the bum and get on with it. Look after eachother.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Penny, try not to be so hard on yourself, think it is understandble with the type of work involved, but even if you were not doing that job think you may well of needed time off to come to terms with your husbands illness and to be his support at appointments and hospital visiting, Take care ..
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Willow ,

as you say things are happening so fast and its scary to say the least,The fact that your husbands results come back to your workplace would freak anybody out

Please don't be so hard on yourself as by being there with your husband is more important your support will be more worth while than the money you earn for now.

wishing your husband better news soon and you peace of mind because rather than letting him down you will be there tocomfort him through this.

take care xx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Penny

Not surprised you feel like you do. You're on an emotional rollercoaster right now, things are still very raw and you're still facing more surgery.

I'm sure your husband would be upset to hear you were being so hard on yourself, as he's probably seeing nothing but the love and support you've given him through all of this.

If you're not up to work, for whatever reason, you shouldn't feel pressured to go back yet. While work can certainly help at times, it will only do that if you're ready for it.

Do remember, in order to support and care for your husband, you have to look after yourself too. Allow yourself some time, pamper yourself a bit, and you'll be better able to cope with everything life is throwing at you right now.

I hope everything goes well next week. Look after yourself,

Ann x
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Penny,

I can only concur with everything that has already been said. It's impossible to be a rock for your husband 24/7 and he will know that, so don't be afraid to share your worries & emotions with him - he would rather that than you worry yourself into the ground. I used to question my husband about his feelings & worries because he wouldn't openly admit them, thinking he was being big & strong for me - all I did was worry about how he was coping!

All my best wishes to you both, Angie x
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